


(I know) The sound of your heart

by EliMatthews



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Autism, Autistic Character, F/M, LGBT, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Multi, Sensory Overload, Stimming, Twilight Series Rewrite, gay retelling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EliMatthews/pseuds/EliMatthews
Summary: Theo Swan leaves behind his controlled life in Arizona to move in with his father to the gloomy town of Forks. In the claustrophobic town, the last thing he expects to find is a mesmerizing and irresistible boy. And no matter how hard he tries, Theo can not stop himself being drawn to him and his unpside world. Unbeknowst to him, the close he gets to him, the more he's putting himself and those around him at an unimaginable risk.
Relationships: Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, alice cullen/ jasper hale, edward cullen/ orginal male character
Comments: 3
Kudos: 82





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Hello- just some quick things before we start:
> 
> Theo has autism. I'll be using my own experience as being autistic myself. There is no right or wrong way to write autism. 
> 
> Bella still exists in the story as Theo's twin sister, but doesn't follw her orginal storyline. This story is taken over by Theo, although I have changed bits for it's more fitting for the character. 
> 
> I'm using both the books and the films, so the story will contain aspects of each.

Death is easy. It's peaceful. It's life flashing before your eyes in a kaleidoscope of memories before drifting away. 

Breath caught in his throat, the hunter started at him from the other side of the room; his eyes filled with a type of hunger he'd only seen once. Although the place was familiar, the situation was something he knew nothing of. This seemed like a good way to die, in the place of someone that he loved. Nobel almost. He couldn't make himself be afraid as the hunter bared his teeth, sauntering across the long dark room. 

He'd never given much thought to how he would die, although he's had enough reason to over the past few months. But even now, as he stared into the greedy eyes of death, he couldn't bring himself to regret the decision to move to Forks.


	2. From Phoenix to Forks.

A warm breeze tousled Theo's hair as his mom drove them to the airport. It was seventy- five degrees, the air warm and the sky a cloudless blue. Phoenix had been his home ever since he was small. It had been the only place he'd ever known; the place that Renee had fled with just him and his twin sister Bella after she had devoiced their father. So he would miss it. He would miss the heat. He would miss my well put together routine. He would miss my loving, erratic and hare-brained mother and her husband Phil. But he's a minor league baseball player and moves around a lot. Their mother had stayed with Theo and Bella but it made her unhappy. She they were going to spend some time with their dad. And that's a good think. He thinks. 

"Theo," his mom says, pulling him from his spiralling thoughts. He turned to face her, examining her face that was so much like Bella's face; just with more laugh lines and bright blue eyes that still retained their childlike wonder. "You don't have to do this." She'd been telling him this for the past three weeks since they had started packing up their belonging. She was concerned, he knew that. There had not been a day in his seventeen years on earth that he hadn't seen his mother. And despite that worry, he could see just how much she would be sacrificing if he told her to stay.   
"I want to go." It was a lie. The same lie that both he and Bella- who detested Forks just as much as he did- had been saying since they told their mom they wanted to go and live with their father four months ago. He'd been saying it that often that he'd almost convinced himself that it was true.   
"Tell Charlie I said hi."  
"I will." Bella chimes in, knowing that I couldn't up my strong will of going much longer; knowing he would snap and beg their mother to stay.

Renee pulls both of them into a tight hug. Theo snuggled into her warmth, the familiar smell wrapping around him. He knew it wasn't the last time he would see her but he needed to remember exactly how she felt. "I'll see you soon," she insisted.   
"Don't worry about us mom," Bella urged. "I love you."  
"We'll be fine. I love you," Theo adds with a weak smile trying to deny the desperate need to stim; that would give any to his mother just how on edge he was.   
They collected their things from the boot of the car, new unworn raincoats tucked under their arms in preparations for the dreariness that would inevitably greet them off the plane. 

It's a four-hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a small plane up to Port Angeles, and then an hour drive back down to Forks. Theo didn't know what was worse: the overstimulating place or the hour car ride in awkward silence with Charlie. 

Charlie is leaning up against his cruiser outside the airport when we arrive. He got up as soon as he spotted them both, making their way towards them and greeted them with an awkward hug. "It's good to see you Bells, Theo," he greets, voice gruff and low.   
"Its good to see you Dad," Bella answered; they weren't allowed to call him Charlie to his face. Theo just nodded along, pretending to pay attention to their conversation but was really taking in his surroundings. Drizzle was quickly turning to full rain, which urged Theo to quickly to shove his belongings into the trunk of the cruiser. Bella jumped into the back of the car, sending a playful smile to Theo as he sat up front with Charlie. Charlie had been fairly nice about them coming to live with him; he's already enrolled them at the high school and promised to help look for a car. But with neither Bella or Theo had kept their hatred for Forks a secret, And although Charlie had never been mean about Theo's autism diagnosis, Theo knew that he wasn't the son that Charlie had envisioned. It was one of the main reasons Theo had kept his sexuality a secret from Charlie. 

"You're hair has grown since the last time I saw you Theo," Charlie said.   
"I'm growing a fringe" he murmur as he subconsciously tug on it and move it in front of his eyes.   
" It's nice," he said. The rest of the car drive was silent, Theo observing through the window as everything went by. It was too green; like an alien planet. In the Olympic Peninsula of the northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near constant cover of clouds. It rains on this inconsequential town more than any other place in the  
United States of America. Theo supposed that Forks could be quite nice if it was not covered in the omnipresent shade. To put it bluntly it is dreary and miserable, so set apart from home, from Phoenix where the sun was hot on his skin like a constant security blanket wrapped. Everything was so a strange to him now, it had been years since either of them had stepped foot in Forks. They use to spend a month here every summer until three years ago when they'd put out foot down, so Charlie would vacation with them in California for two weeks instead.

Charlie had a small three-bedroom house that he had brought with Renee when they first got married. In one trip, all of Theo's and Bella belongings were inside the house; most of their Arizonian clothes deemed to summery for the Forks where highs of forty were considered a heat wave. Theo's bedroom had hardly changed since he was a baby; just the crib switched out for a single bed and a desk wedged between a chest of drawers and a rocking chair. It's walls were still the same light blue as they were when it was my nursery and the cream curtains framed the windows.  
" It's a good desk lamp," Charlie said walking into Theo's room, " the sales lady picked up the covers, blues good right?"  
" Blues cool," he says.   
" I cleaned some shelves off in the bathroom," he said.  
" Right, one bathroom," Bella called from her room.  
"And once you're settled you can decorate your rooms how you'd like. You know add some paint and photos and things like that."  
"Sounds great," Theo says trying to sound sincere but the positivity in long gone from his voice.   
" I'll leave you to unpack," he says before leaving my room. That's one of the best thing about Charlie, he doesn't hover. Theo now felt free to look unhappily around his new room and rotate his left wrist clockwise. The stim had been his most consistent, his preferred stim since Theo had been four. 

Theo's room quickly transforms into something that looks familiar as he unpacks his things. Stacks of books and CD's were piled onto the desk, clothes packed into the oak dresser, shoes lined up against the wall; ordered by the date they were brought from oldest to newest. He'd just draped his weighted blanket at the end of the bed when he noticed movement on the driveway through his window; Charlie and Bella chatting away to people.

" Hey Theo you remember Billy Black and his son Jacob, right?" Charlie said when he joined everyone outside. Thankfully the rain had stopped  
"Sure," Theo said with a small nod of his head." Sure," I say nodding my head. Billy was now in a wheelchair but still looked the same, long hair and tanned skin. Jacob has changed a lot since Theo had last seen him; granted that had been over five years ago. He was tall, taller than Theo's 5'7 height and had long flowing hair that whipped in the slight breeze.   
" I'm glad you two are finally here, Charlie hasn't shut up about it since you two told him you were coming." Billy said with a big soft smile.   
" Keep exaggerating and I'll roll you in the mud," Charlie joked.  
" Right after I ram you in the ankles," Billy says back while they pretend to fight.  
" I'm Jacob," he says moving closer, " we use to make mud pies when we were little."  
" Yeah, I remember," Bella says," are they always like this?"  
" I think it's getting worse with old age," Jacob replies laughing when Billy and Charlie come back over to us. " Do you like it?" Charlie asks.  
" What?" Theo asks, shooting Charlie a confused look.   
" Your homecoming gift."  
" This," Bella asked.  
" Just brought it off Billy here."  
" I totally rebuilt the engine," Jacob said. We all got into the truck while Jacob continued, " You have to double pump the clutch when you shift but other then that everything should be fine."  
" Would you- I mean like- do you need a ride? To school I mean." Theo asks, heat rising in his cheeks as he becomes flustered.  
" I go to school I reservation."  
" That's too bad, it would have been nice to know at least one person," Bella says.

After Jacob and Billy leave, Theo retreats upstairs to have a shower, hoping to wash away the stressful day. He stares into the small cabinet mirror for longer than normal, examining his pale ivory skin, his eyes are strange hue of green and black dyed hair that had begun to curl from the steam of the shower. The warm water does nothing for the tight muscles in his back and the lavender shampoo doesn't make him as tired as it usually would. He changes quickly into his pyjamas before heading downstairs to bid an awkward goodnight to Charlie. 

Bella is waiting in her room, two mugs of tea sat on the desk. At least this was still normal, Theo thought content. Every time either them had a particular bad or stressful day they would have a hot drink and talk; a tradition of sorts that their mother had started a few years ago. "How are you finding it?" She asks, handing him his mug and inviting him to sit on her bed. Bella's room was similar to his own, with the difference of purple bedsheets and greener walls. "It's alright I guess. I mean being back here is weird. It's like when you can't put a name to somebody's face, it all feels familiar but I don't have a full memory."  
"It's been a long time Theo, it's nearly been four years since we've been in Forks," Bella says trying to console him.   
"I know. I'll get use to it. How are you finding it?"  
"Good. Charlie's been nice about the whole thing."  
"Yeah. I guess he has been pretty good about everything."  
"It's late. You should try to get some sleep."  
"You're right. Night Belles," he says giving her a small hug, carful not to spill any tea on her.  
"Night baby brother," she replies in a teasing tone.  
"I'm twenty minutes younger therefore I am not a baby," he informs her.  
"You'll always be my baby brother," she tells me with a chuckle as he leaves her room.

With one last sad glance around his room, Theo settles under the covers with his weighted blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He switches the night light that he'd earlier set up on the small table next to his bed, soothing colourful lights filling the room and bouncing around the ceiling. It may appear a little odd for a seventeen year old to have a nightlight but it helps him to sleep. His mom had brought it for him in a desperate attempt to get him to sleep longer than a few hours at a time and to prevent meltdowns that became part of the night time routine. After reading somewhere that light could help children on the autism spectrum sleep she dashed straight to the store to pick up the colourful lap. And amazingly it had worked. Laying down, Theo screwed his eyes shut in some vain attempt to imagine himself in his bed in Phoenix.


	3. First sight

It was the heavy stomping of Charlie's boots that woke Theo the following morning. His sleep had been broken and disturbed all night. Every time he seemed to settle and allow sleep to take over the wind would shake the windows in their frame. The rain served as a constant reminder just how far away from home he was; refusing to fade in the background even when he shoved his head under his pillow. Sighing, knowing the impending doom that waited for him when he got out of bed, Theo stretched and climbed out of bed. Free from the warm cocoon he'd created with the blankets, the air surround him was cold and unpleasant. Quick to select warm clothes, Theo changed from his thin sleepwear to black jeans and a faded grey shirt, throwing a black jacket over the top for good measure. 

Breakfast was a quiet event. Both Bella and Theo were too preoccupied with thoughts of starting school and Charlie now so used to being on his own. The kitchen was just the same as his mother had left it, bright yellow cabinets much to bold for a place this depressing and four mixed matched chairs placed around a small circle table. It just dawned of Theo how much Charlie had never gotten over his mother leaving. Charlie wished them good luck before leaving for the Police Station- the place having become his family after all these years spent alone.   
"Shall we go to school?" Bella asked.   
"Won't we be too early?" Theo voiced, aware that school didn't start for a while and yet he, much like Bella, couldn't bear to sit around a house that did not feel like theirs.  
"No, it's better to leave now. Get it over and done with," Bella said with a reassuring confidence that Theo knew was forced but appreciated it just the same. 

His new waterproof boots slosh as he walk down the path to the truck, and got into the passenger side. Bella had opted to drive, Theo's stims ever president, the rotating of the wrist and twitch in the neck, that would make it much to dangerous to drive. The truck is nice and dry, either Charlie or Billy had cleaned it out before hand meaning the seats smelled of disinfectant, peppermint and tobacco. The engine roared to life deafeningly so creating a buzz inside Theo's head that he could shake yet there was also quick relief that the truck would run and they could get to school without having to walk in the rain or be dependent on Charlie. Forks High School, like most things in this town, was no more than an ten minute drive from where they lived. With a total of three hundred and fifty seven- now fifty nine- students who had all grown up together, Theo knew that now matter much they looked like they belonged in Fork, neither he nor Bella would blend easily. He had the sneaking that everyone was awaiting their arrival. Charlie had never been good at keeping things quiet. 

Finding the school was easy. This town didn't need all the sign posting it had; almost everything was just off the highway. Bella turned in, watching over the car park before pulling in by the first building which was empty. They got out, Theo noting the small sign that signalled that this was the FRONT OFFICE. Inside the air was warm and there was something welcoming by the sedated atmosphere and low lighting but him at some ease.   
" Can I help you?" A red headed women wearing glasses asked them.   
" I'm Isabella swan and this is Theodore Swan," Bella told her, their full name odd her lips. Theo was glad that Bella spoke for him on this one occasion, unsure if he could even formulate any real words. The woman's eyes lit up in realisation of who they were and shuffled hastily to pull papers from a large pile. "Of course, here's your schedules." She proved to be very nice, highlighting the quickest paths to class on a map and even wishing them good luck for their first day. 

Other students were starting to arrive when Bella drove back round, most of the cars, much like the trust, were old; although none of them emitting the loud, thumping sound that the truck did.. She cut the engine to draw less attention to them when they're parked in a spot not too far from the main entrance. Theo's brain was quickly clouded with anxiety as his eyes followed the groups of students in the parking lot. Mouth suddenly dry, he swallowed; gulping audibly.   
"Ready?" Bella asked.  
"We can do this," Theo said, trying to match Bella confidence from earlier. It didn't work. His voice wavered. 

It's drizzling when they get out the car, the sky overcast. " Nice ride," a boy said causing his friends to laugh. Was he being sarcastic? Theo struggled to tell but chose to ignore him, following Bella up the steps to the main building. He made his way to building three where his English class was, watching as Bella was approached by a gangly boy and they started to talk. She had always been much better at talking to people that Theo was. He could never bring himself to hate her because of her ability to just speak to people but he was forever envious. 

The morning passed quickly. A chatty girl called Jessica Stanley had sat next to him in English, talking quickly about herself and Forks in great detail. He made quick enemies with his Calculus teacher Mr Brennon when he made him stand in front of the class to introduce himself but there was a nice girl Angela was seemed just as shy as he was. He caught his boot on the edge of table next to his when sitting down in Spanish causing the girl next to him books to go flying. Theo mumbles a quick apology, wrist twitch as he collapsed into his seat next to Bella; their first shared class. So Theo was thankful when Lunch finally rolled around. Jessica, the short talkative girl that he shared English and Spanish with, had invited both Theo and Bella to eat lunch with her and her friends. He quickly found himself squished between Bella and the guy that had spoken to Bella this morning, Eric Theo though his name was, around several tables. Jessica kept shooting him smiles across the table, showing a lot of her teeth. It put Theo on edge. Was she trying to flirt with him?

"I see you met my home girl," Eric says as the nameless boy from the parking lot sat next to her.  
"Your home girl?" The boy asked with a smirk before planting a kiss onto Bella' cheek. "My home girl," he says getting up to pull Eric's chair from beneath him; both running in loud chaos through the cafeteria. Jessica made quick work on Eric's now empty seat, sliding over next to Theo. "It's like your like the shiny new toy," she said to Bella, her tight smile that showcased just how jealous she was. Theo had yet to make up his mind about if he liked Jessica or not. 

He zoned out at the at speedo padding; content with eating lunch and pretending he was any where else put the chatter filled cafeteria. It was there, sitting in the lunchroom, trying to ignore the conversations of stranger, that he first saw them. 

There was five of them, three boys and two girls, walking in and heading to the table in the far corner. Each had pearl white skin and walked with a type of grace that he had never seen in real life. There was a big muscular guy who walked arm in arm with a beautiful blonde girl. Then there was small girl with a pixie cut that twirled in the arms of the honey blonde. But it was the one that trailed behind the two couples that caught Theo's eye. He was more boyish than the rest, bronze coloured hair and dark eyes.   
"What are you staring at?" Bella asked him, following his gaze across the room. "Who are they?" she asked Jess who let out a giggle.   
" The Cullens," Jessica said, " they're Dr and Mrs Cullens foster kids, moved down here from Alaska two years ago."  
" They keep to themselves," Angela points out.  
" Yeah because they're all together, together," Jessica said while eyeing up a blond and big guy walked in holding hands. " The big guys Emmett and the blonde girl's Rosalie, they're like a thing. I'm not even sure that's legal," She continues.   
" Jess, they're not actually related," Angela points out again.  
" Yeah but they live together, it's weird," she turns back to face Theo and Bella. " Ok," she continued," the little dark haired girl is Alice- she's really weird and she's with Jasper, he always looks like he's in pain." Maybe he is pain, Theo pondered. " I mean, Dr Cullen is like this foster dad slash match maker."  
" Maybe he'll adopt me," Angela giggled, when a guy pale like the rest of them walks in alone.  
" Who's he?" Theo asked. He locks eyes for a second with him, his eyes a deep black in colour and cold. Embarrassed to be caught staring, Theo turns away to look back at the table.   
" That's Edward Cullen," Jessica says smiling. " But apparently no-one here is good enough for him," she continues bitterly but I'm not looking at her but a Edward who chuckles like he heard the whole thing. " Like I care though, I wouldn't waste any of your time on him," Jessica continued.  
" I wasn't planning on it," Bella says. Theo stays quiet, hearing that warning to stare away from the beautiful boy but couldn't say anything without revealing he was gay.   
Throughout the rest of lunch, Theo stole glances at Edward Cullen and each time he met confused pained eyes. 

" Mr Molina," Mike, a blonde puppy like boy that Bella has met in her Gov class, announces when they walked into biology.  
" Hello Mike," he greets back smiling at the two new comers. Theo took in the room, eyes glazing over all the new, nameless faces quickly as the fan rustles the back of my hair. He stops, short of breath when his eyes land on the only familiar face. The face that he'd spent the entirety of lunch staring at. Edward Cullen was sat too ridged and straight backed to be comfortable with his eyes, so harsh and unforgiving, still trained on Theo. There were only two seats available: one next the Angela and the other by Edward Cullen. Theo was unsure which he would prefer. 

Mr Molina sent Bella with Angela to the back of the room and Thea to be seated by Edward Cullen. As Theo passed, he suddenly leaned away, moving his chair quietly the furthest the table would allow. Theo kept his eyes downcast, away from the coal black eyes of the boy next to him and wondered exactly what he had done to annoy him. Edward looked disgusted by the fact he was having to sit next to him. Was it because he was new? Taking over Edwards space? Or- Theo's stomach knotted tightly- had he figured out that he was gay? " Today class we'll be observing the behaviour of Planaria, or commonly known as flatworms," Mr Molina says while passing around petri dishes, two per table. Edward grabs his and pushes Theo's towards him." We are going to cut them in half, then watch them become two serrate worms," he continues. Theo pays no attention to the class, alternating between doodling in his notebook and peeking at Edward; who was always staring right at him and clutching the table with force.

The moment the bell sounded loudly, Theo released a breath he didn't realise he was holding. Edward Cullen was out of his seat, taller than he'd thought, a swept fluidly out the door before Theo could even begin to gather his belongings. "So did you stab Cullen with a pencil or what?" Mike asked, standing at the end of the desk waiting for him like a loyal pet. So, this wasn't Edwards usual behaviour. He'd feared that. "He just doesn't like me," Theo says flushing in embarrassment that someone had noticed just how strangely his lab partner was behaving. "It's his lose," Mike says with an over friendly smile.   
Mike talks all the way to gym, speaking rapidly and alternating between asking Bella and Theo questions as they walked. But he could stop thinking about Edward. His smooth skin and strange coloured hair and eyes so penetrating that if looks could kill, Theo would be a cold corpse by now. Shaking his head in hopes of ridding his brain of the thought; he was furious that the rude boy still held so of his attention. 

Theo was allowed to watch from the side lines during gym much to his relief. The hand eye coordination paired with the footwork required for basketball was something that he just didn't possess. He has sustained many injuries from his years of sports that he had been forced to play. People who struggled to walk successfully in a straight line shouldn't be condemned to take part in things that required skilled vigilance. 

The final bell rang out at last and Theo smiled for the first time all day; pleased that his day full of socializing with strangers was offer and he'd successful made it without spilling out either of his secret: that he had autism and the fact that he was gay. He walked into the warm office, the same one as this morning, to hand in his slips from his teachers to the receptionist only to feeling the need to walk back out again. The Edward Cullen stood, arguing with the lady behind the desk, begging that she move him class. He stands away from the scene, going unnoticed with his back pressed against the wall until the door swings opens and Bella walks in. Cold air entered the small office, mixing with the warm and causing a breeze to sweep through. Theo watched as Edward Cullen's back stiffened and he turned to look at me with a snarl, bearing the whitest teeth he'd ever seen.   
"Never mind, then, I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help." he says to the receptionist before hastily dashing out the office. 

He could hear nothing but his heart sounding in his ears and the realisation rushed over him. Edward Cullen loathed him that much that he wanted to move classes just to be away from Theo. He felt motionless, handing the slip over the receptionist wordlessly, following Bella to their truck in silence. And when he got back home, Theo could no longer deny the tears of confusion and frustration for streaming down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just finished reading Midnight Sun and it's kind of inspired me to try a write some parts of this story revolving around Edward and the Cullens when Theo isn't present. I don't know but I'll give it a try to see if it works.


	4. Swimming in gold

Edward Cullen didn't return to school for a week.

The day following his strange behaviour, Theo had been nervous about going into school. He'd spent half the night up wondering exactly what he had done to get under Edward Cullen's skins so quickly; driving himself mad when he came up empty every time he'd analysed their interaction. And when he wasn't thinking of a way that he'd offended him, he tried to figure out how to confront him. Could he even confront him?

The fog had cleaned up some since the previous day, allowing small pockets of light to peak through the clouds and the rain had seemingly disappeared for a short while, although it was no warmer. Theo pulled on a thick blue jumper and some jeans, opting for his trainers opposed to his waterproof boots seeing as though it wasn't actually raining.  
People stared at them less today, a few people know use to seeing them walk down the halls and didn't feel the need to stare. Theo was glad that his face was no longer that new and that he was no longer the main topic of conversation; although rather annoyingly both Jessica and Mike seemed to be competing for his attention. Mike had met him by the his truck and insisted upon walking him to English; where Jessica had spent the entire class whispering to him about something he couldn't be bothered to listen to. Theo felt both tense and at ease all at once; glad he wouldn't have to see his harsh stare but missing his prescience.

Theo walked to Biology, feeling an odd sense of confidence when by the end of lunch Edward was still a no show. Thankfully, Bella seemed to be able to entertain Mike of the walk to class which allowed him to following quietly behind them with Angela. Theo appreciated the silence that both he and Angela could walk in without it becoming awkward like it would with other people. Still Theo momentary held his breath as he entered the Biology classroom, fearing that he would be sat there. But his table was empty. He felt himself smile, even as Mike followed him to his desk to talk to him about the upcoming beach trip.

When Monday rolled a round, marking his first full in Forks, he couldn't help but marvel in the fact that he'd made it through the first week without any incidents. Charlie was still not use to having other people living with him so he spent most of his time at the station or out fishing so it was very much like Theo and Bella lived alone. They arrived at in the car park on Monday morning, Jessica was waiting for him under the shelter by the main building. That was a new thing, Jessica insisted that she would wait for him so they could walk together to shared classes. They had a pop quiz on Wuthering Heights which was pretty straightforward.  
It was lunch when thins started to go further down hill. He was walking with Bella, Mike and Jessica when Mike let out a childlike gasp, "Wow it's snowing."  
"Ew," Theo voiced. Snow was disgusting mush that stuck much quicker than rain and was by far a lot colder.  
"You don't like snow?" Mike asks staring at him surprised.  
" I don't like it because it means it's too cold for rain, plus it means ice."  
" Have you ever seen snow before?" He asks.  
" Of course I have... on T.V," he laughed when a snowball hit him square on the back of the head.  
"We'll see you at lunch," Bella said quickly, grabbing for Theos hand so they could dash inside out of the way of large chunks of ice being thrown around.

Theo spots Edward sitting with his family, it being hard not to now that his brain seemed to be wired to instinctively look for him whenever he entered the cafeteria. They were all laughing. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett shaking loose bits of melting snow from their hair. They were enjoying the snowy day just like every other student although they looked like a scene from a movie, their moves graceful and pre-planned until everyone else haphazard movements to quickly soak as many people with snow as possible.  
"Hello Theo," Bella said shaking his shoulders to gain his attention. "What do you want?" Theo, now shaken from his daze, turns around to see he's at the front of the line for lunch. "Erm… just a soda please," he says, seeing Edward for the first time in over a week made his stomach start to churn.  
"Are you ok," she asks him.  
"I'm fine. I'll meet you at the table."  
Everyone is already at there table, dusting off the coats and shaking their heads causing wet patches to form on the floor. Jessica waves him over before he can escape and sit in another seat so he finds himself trapped between her and a blonde girl who's name he can not remember. He twists the lid of the bottle top on and off, a repetitive motion that was keeping his desire to twitch his neck at bay. Theo had practically begged Charlie to keep his autism diagnoses a secret, knowing that news spread like wild fire in a town like Forks. And thankfully it seemed that Charlie had- Theo didn't want to give himself away with his stimming. Not that he was embarrassed with the fact that he had autism. He'd been diagnosed when he was three so he'd lived with it for a long time but he also knew how it could overcomplicate simple things.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," Jess whisper in his ear, nearly sending Theo's soda over the table.  
"He doesn't look made does he?" he asked, voicing his insecurity. If he was mad, Theo was certainly missing Biology.  
"No he's just staring at you," she said with a giggle. Whipping his head around, he caught the intense stare of Edward Cullen. His eyes weren't as cold today but his stare was just as harsh. For the rest of lunch he listened to Mike prattle on about a snowball fight in the parking lot after school just trying to keep his eyes off Edward; knowing that he was still staring at him.

Theo made sure that Bella was walking between him and Mike on their way to Biology so that she could entertain him while Theo turned his thoughts over in his head. Edward Cullen was back in school, was going to be sitting by him in Biology and there was nothing that he could do about it. So he would just go into class and ignore him. No sly glances at him or checking him in his peripheral vision or even thinking about him.  
Thankfully when they enter the room Theo's desk is still empty. Good. That gave him time to put his plan into action. Mr. Banner was walking around the room, distributing one microscope and box of slides to each table. Class didn't start for a few minutes, and the room buzzed with conversation. Theo opened his notebook and started to doodle on the first clean page.

“Hello,” a quiet voice came from next to him. Theo didn’t have to look up to know that the smooth cool voice belonged to Edward Cullen. So were they talking now? “I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself,” he continued despite Theo not looking up from his doodle. “I’m Edward Cullen. You’re Theo.” He liked the sound of his name on Edward’s lips but looked up to shoot him a confused look; everyone here called him Theodore which he guessed is what Charlie called him behind his back. Edward had surely been away and missed that he corrected everyone so that it was Theo. “Sorry do you prefer Theodore?” Edward asked, his expression matching Theo’s look of confusion. “Urm no, Theo’s good,” he mumbles flames lighting up his cheeks in embarrassment. Against better judgement and the promise he’d made to himself to stare at Edward he can’t turn his head away. He took in how the snow clung to parts of his bronze hair and the dark circles underneath his eyes had lessened but not completely faded.  
"Working as lab partners, Mr Molina started, " you must separate the slides of onion root tip cells into the phases of mitosis they represent and label them accordingly. Get started," He commanded.  
“You first partner,” Edward said with a crooked smile that concealed his teeth as he pushed the microscope towards Theo.  
Theo accepted the microscope wordlessly and snapped the first slide into place, which proved to be difficult when he couldn’t stop the stim in his left wrist from becoming alive. Out of the corner of his eye he could see that Edward was staring at him. Great, so he thought he was weird now too.  
When he finally got the slide into the correct position, he quickly adjusted it to the 40X objective and studied it in one quick glance. “Prophase.” He was showing off. Like most of the material they taught at Forks, Theo had already studied it in Phoenix.  
" Do you mind if I look?" he asked. At the same time as Edward grabbed the microscope, Theo’s twisted his wrist, lightly punching his open palm. Unintentionally, he let out a sharp gasp as his warm knuckles brush against the icy " Sorry," he muttered before looking at the slide, " prophase," he said and write it neatly down on the worksheet. Like I said," Theo said simply. Edwards lips quirk up into a smile that he can’t read before he moves onto the next slide  
" Anaphase," he says and writes it down on the worksheet.  
" Mind if I look?" He pushes it towards him.  
" Anaphase," Theo said with a quick look.  
" Like I said," he replied with a smile,"  
They worked this way, muttering rarely as they passed the microscope between them. They’d finished before anyone else was close. He could see Mike and his partner comparing two slides again and again, and another group had their book open under the table. He went back to drawing, sketching out the forest line that he can see outside the Biology window. Everything in Forks seemed to be outlined by trees.

"So are you enjoying the rain?" Edward said suddenly and even though his voice was quiet it startled Theo who was sinking into his drawing.  
"What you're speaking to me now?" Theo snaps probably a lot harsher and louder than was needed. The girl on the desk next to him turn to stare at him.  
"Yeah, I suppose I am." Great now he'd made Edward feel uncomfortable. But he was confused. Had he made the whole Edward hating him thing in his head? He couldn't keep up with the sudden change in attitude.  
"I don't really like the rain," Theo admits. “It’s loud, harsh... the sun never makes a noise.” He’s laughing when he look up.  
“What?” He asks blushing a crimson colour.  
"If you hate the rain and cold some much, why did you move here?" This time Theo laughs at him.  
"It's complicated."

Edward drops the subject. He could that Theo was becoming more and more anxious about things as he twisted his wrist absentmindedly. He wished desperately that he could read his mind, but every time he tried- possibly staring to intensely at Theo- it came up blank. This frustrated Edward. He'd never come across someone, vampire or human, whose mind he couldn't read. It would be so much easier if he could just tell what Theo was thinking. Maybe if his mind wasn't such a mystery then Edward wouldn't have returned, wouldn't have to put Theo's life in danger. He hated to think that his curiosity could mean him killing an innocent human.

Mr Molina came over to their table when he spots they're not working. He silently checks through the answers. They're all correct. "So Edward, didn't you think Theodore should get a go with the microscope? he asked.  
"Theo, " Edward corrected," actually, he identified three of the five." Mr Molina turned to him and asked," did you do this at your old school?"  
" No with onion root," Theo answers blushing a deep red.  
" Whitefish blastula?"  
" Yeah."  
" Were you in the advanced placement program?" He asks surprised  
" Yes," Theo answers through slightly greeted teeth. He wasn't stupid. Mr Molina walked away mumbling something lowly that he couldn't catch.

"You said it was complicated, I think I can keep up," Edward said. Theo stared, unsure of why he felt compelled to ignore the spike in anxiety it caused him and tell the guy that was previously so rude to him. But he stares into his eyes, now a completely different colour than they had been last week. Instead of the charcoal black they were name a warm butterscotch. He found himself falling into them, swimming amongst the golden flecks that he's never seen in anyone's eyes before. So Theo finds himself telling him, "my mother remarried."  
" And what, you don't like the guy?"  
"No Phil's good. Too young but good."  
"Why didn't you stay with them?"  
"He plays baseball so he travels a lot."  
"Would I know him."  
"No. He's not very good." He winced at how blunt that sounded.  
" So your mother sent you and your sister here?"  
" No, she didn't send me here. It was my choice. Bella's too."  
" I don't understand." Theo sighed in frustration. He wrung his hands together before looking over at Bella. Her and Angela were talking but she was looking at him not her; as if waiting to up in and rip him and Edward apart.  
"Am I annoying you?" Edward asked, his face was twisted when Theo looked back at him; not meeting his eyes.  
"Yes." Theo said before he could stop himself. "She would stay home with us but that made her unhappy. So we decided to move here."  
"And now you're unhappy."  
"I'm not."  
"You're willing to suffer just so someone else can be happy, am I wrong?" He doesn't say anything, just stares blankly past Edward's right shoulder.  
"Am I that easy to read?"  
"On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read," he smirks like he told a joke that Theo doesn't understand.

When the bell finally rang, Edward rushed as swiftly and as gracefully from the room as he had last Monday. Mike skipped quickly to his side and waited patiently at the end of the desk."That was awful," he groaned. "They all looked exactly the same. You're lucky you had Cullen for a partner."  
"I didn't have any trouble with it," Theo snapped. He regretted it instantly. It was Edward that he was annoyed with, not Mike. "I've done the lab before, though," he added before he could hurt Mike's feelings. "Cullen seemed friendly enough today," he commented as they shrugged into their raincoats. Theo shrugged in differently, hoping that Mike would drop it so he wouldn't have to have these entire conversation through gym. He couldn't think about Edward Cullen anymore; it hurt his brain.

The rain had slowed to a drizzle by the time Theo got out of gym but had thankfully washed away all the snow. He didn’t fancy having to try to make it across the car park without getting caught up in the snowball fight Mike had planned at lunch. He was in an obvious mood as soon as he got into the truck, not even the warmth calming him down. Bella noticed, “What’s up?”  
“I fell over in gym,” he answered, recalling on how he’d tripped over Mike’s foot and skidded along the basket ball court; burning his knees in the process. “Is that all,” Bella asked concerned but something else sounded in her voice, he just didn’t know what exactly. “Yeah. What else would it be?  
“Maybe Edward Cullen.” Oh. Bella had always been overly observant and Theo had been stupid to believe that she wouldn’t pick up on the fact he was utterly drawn to Edward like a moth to a flame. A suicidal moth he thought jokingly. “It’s nothing,” he said dismissively. He saw that dead set look in Bella’s eyes, the silent promise to drop the matter but only for now.  
Theo started to pull out of the car parking space, checking his blind spots in the mirror and being careful to suppress his stims. Driving still felt so new to him. That’s when he noticed Edward Cullen standing by his shiny Volvo several parking spots away.

“Theo,” Bella shouted and he stomped on the break before he hit a rusty Toyota Corolla; their truck would definitely wipe out that car. His hands shook against the steering wheel as he stalled the car and the engine cut out. Bella placed a soothing hand on his arm, gently squeezing to apply deep pressure. “What were you looking at?” But her question fell on deaf ears. Theo was in shutdown, something that could only be described as sinking into a parallel universe. He could hear sound and see colours but nothing really fit together coherently so he couldn’t understand anything. Couldn’t speak or communicate or even acknowledge his surroundings.  
Bella was thankful for the long seating in the front of the truck. Hopping out, she raced to the other side of the truck opening the door before beginning to voice out loud her plan so that Theo knew what was happening even if he wasn’t really registering anything. “I’m going to drive us home,” she explained as she care moved Theo to the other end of the truck bench so she could climb in behind the wheel. Bella glanced over at Theo, making sure he wasn’t causing any harm to himself before slowly edging out the space.

Edward stares intently at Bella, shifting through her thoughts as he watches her drive away. They were groggy and cloudy, like he was trying to see through fog but they were still there. Though slightly jumbled, he could see the very motherly worry that seep through Bella’s mind. “Ok ok ok,” she repeated over and over again in her head, just to calm herself down. Edward saw flashes of Theo curled up in the seat next to her, silent and still. He saw flickers of the way that she would solve the shut down- his weighted blanket, his favourite music, maybe she could read to him. Hazy images of young children versions of Bella and Theo dances around Edwards head; each depicting Bella soothing Theo in some way. Edward couldn’t stop himself smiling at the images.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried writing from Edward's point of view. What do you think?


	5. Shutdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something a little more original for this chapter to hopefully prevent this from becoming an exact copy of the novels/ films. I hope you enjoy it

Shutdowns, while not as physical as a meltdown, always drained Theo. Even though his body felt jittery, nervous like he could run in a continuous line until he reached the sun, his mind was slow and lagged. It was almost like everything around him was moving fast, at an impossible speed and he could only seem to move in slow motion.  
When Bella parks the truck in the driveway he's through the front door before Bella has even had the chance to get out of the truck. It's an odd feeling as though your own skin is claustrophobic and that you need to shed it.

His legs felt heavy, as though they had turned to lead as he began to scale the stairs. Theo’s soft steps still sounded with a thud against the aged wooden floors of the house, the light creak of the third step from the top was like a crash of thunder in his sensitive ears.  
His room was not his room. It did not provide the same comfort that his old room did. It didn’t hold the power to somewhat magically make him feel better as soon as he walked through the door. The thin curtain allowed him too much gloomy light because of the ever looming rain from outside in. It smelt different too. His old room had a constant ting of lavender scent to its air because of its years of being over used. This room smelt too much like dust after being left untouched for so long.   
He had to get out of the house. The confined four walls and the ceiling where making him feel worse, making the tight ache in his chest that always appeared after a shutdown. He cursed his body for feeling nothing and then everything all at once. Theo pulled on his headphones, jamming the end into his mp3 player and stomped down the stairs which perhaps more aggression than needed.   
"I'm going for a walk," he tells Bella who is leaning against the kitchen counter waiting for something to cook. She had quickly taken the maternal role, perhaps babying him and Charlie a little too much for their own good. "Will you be okay on your own?" His shutdown had scared her. This was the first one she'd had to deal with without their mom being there. "I'll be fine," he insists.  
"Dinner's in an hour," she tells him as he walks out the front door. 

Unsure of where he was heading, he just started towards the ever encroaching forest across from Charlie's yard. It isn't long before here's deep enough that the road is invisible but he's too frustrated to care. Theo follows the thin ribbon of a trail as it winds deeper and deeper into the forest his upset driving him to push forward. Theo was right, without the rain, Forks was beautiful. The air was still cold, dropping colder as the darkness evaded the light of the sky as he ventured further into the forest. Thankfully the rain had stopped. He could still smell the damp soil every time that he breathed; earthy and thick in his lungs. The trees create a canopy, only flickers of the darkening sky appearing through gapes in the leaves. Theo walked to the steady beat of his music, treading on the uneven ground carefully and watching out for tree roots woven into the forest floor. This was uneven terrain and the last thing he needed was a broken ankle. A recently fallen tree- he knew it was recent because it wasn't entirely carpeted in miss- rested against the trunks of several other trees. Careful of the soggy leaves, he stepped over it, continuing on the path that was decorated with overgrown wildflowers and fallen leaves that Theo could feel crunching beneath his feet. He came across no one as he trudged on through the trees, glad that the pathway was clear so that he wouldn't have to make polite conversation with anyone a he went by. He began to catch glimpses of some open space through the webbed branches. And then, even over the music through his headphones, there was a car horn beeping. As he emerged, the lawn to the house was stretched out in front of him. Charlie's cruiser was parked in the driveway. 

Dinner is a quiet and awkward affair. Theo keeps his headphones pressed firmly of his ears playing an endless stream of wordless music to keep him calm. Charlie says nothing to him, ignoring him apart from the somewhat soft and encouraging smiles that he shots him every now and then. Theo guesses that Bella had briefed him on the dos and don’ts when it came to a shutdown. He was grateful that Bella was here; unable to fathom how he’d even explain any of this to Charlie.   
He watched as Bella and Charlie exchanged small talk. He couldn’t make out what they were saying but he stared at their moving lips, the action was oddly calming. The whole thing being so mundane and normal helped to pull Theo more out of the shutdown hole that he had disappeared into. Theo watched as they ate, Charlie shovelling in food in gulping bite while Bella was a little more graceful- smaller bites but still with the vigorous movements. All he could manage to was clumsily mixing his food around his plate, taking small bites only every now and then. 

Theo retreated to his bedroom shortly after dinner. He turned Bella's offer for a chat and a cup of tea and Charlie asking if he wanted to watch a movie. He felt bad when they were both trying so hard to help. He felt bad that Charlie was going out of his way to make him feel better even though he didn’t really understand. But he couldn’t face people. Could not watch the worry in their eyes as he drove more and more into himself. Also the headphones had begun to cause a dull ache in his ears so he needed to remove them without too much exterior noise.   
His room was no more comforting than it was before his walk but it was more tolerable. The wind had picked up outside and the rain swirled and bounced against the window with such brutish force that Theo worried that they might shatter. Forks was too noisy. It felt odd to think that this small town as loud when he’d lived in a big city. But it was the wrong kind of noise. It was rain and creaky floors and birds in the trees and gravelled roads. 

Theo changed into sweatpants, leaving his chest and feet bare. He’d never really understood his slight aversion to clothes. Sometimes they just made his skin feel like thick like he was cover in fur. He skips his shower, unable to find it within himself to care about it even though he knows it would probably help.   
Skimming the spines of his books that were stacked in a pile on his desk, he ponders on what he’s in the mood to read. No horror, he decides quickly skipping past his small Stephen King collection to his stack of classics. Theo locates Great Expectations quickly from the pile and grabs it, careful to not cause the stack to topple over. The book was worn, torn and bent from the many times Theo had read the book. It was another thing that he couldn’t explain- his love for Great Expectations. He’d lost count of the amount of times that he’d read the book but he never grew tired of it. Each time felt like the first, the burning desire to find out what happens despite already knowing. He got like that sometimes with things. Listening to the same song over and over again. Looking at the same photo. Saying the same words. The repetitiveness of everything was something he enjoyed. His autism he supposed.   
Settling beneath the covers, weighted blanket secured firmly around his shoulders, Theo sunk into the world of Charles Dickens. That’s what he liked about reading- the escapism. He could be anywhere and anyone. That was important when he felt this way. Reading was his lifejacket when he was drowning.


	6. Phenomenon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. College has started back up again and exams have been a little crazy. I'll try to keep these updates as often as possible.

Theo slept fitfully that night, constantly tossing and turning as he slipped in and out of consciousness. It was perhaps even a worse night sleep than when he first arrived at Forks. The sheets below him felt like shards of glass, ripping and tugging on his skin with every small move he made. They also didn’t smell like home. They were musky, clean but not entirely fresh, reminding him constantly that he was in Forks. The whooshing of the wind and rain carried on until the early hours of the morning, sounding as though someone was trying to break through the bedroom window. All his sense seemed to by attacked up unpleasant things; each one trying to overpower the other.   
But something was different when he opened his eyes.

His thin curtains allowed a bright light to shine through; no for veiling my window. He jumped up to have a look outside, for a foolish believing that it could be sunny. He groaned in horror as he pulled about the curtains. A fine layer of snow covered the yard, dusted the top of my truck, and whitened the road. But that wasn't the worst part. All the rain from yesterday had frozen solid — coating the needles on the trees in fantastic, gorgeous patterns, and making the driveway a deadly ice slick. Being uncoordinated and icy floors didn't mix well.   
He bundled himself up in a t-shirt, jumper, hoodie and his thickest pair of jeans before heading downstairs. Both Bella and Charlie were already in the kitchen having breakfast when he appeared. "Morning Theo," Charlie greeted him, his eyes showed that he was still concerned.  
"Morning dad," he greets him, trying to appear a little bit brighter despite the awful thought of having to venture out on the snow. He pulled on his raincoat, tugging on his woollen hat and gloves from inside his pocket. "You look like you're about to hike up a mountain," Bella jokes although her outfit mirrored his own.   
"It's icy and cold out there, I'm taking no chances."

He threw down a quick bowl of cereal, feeling an immense hunger after not eating anything yesterday. He thought about what had happened yesterday in Biology. How after being so rude at the first meeting and disappearing for a week only to return and being suddenly interested in him. Theo couldn't understand it- had everything been in his head? Despite everything he was excited to get to school, to see Edward and that annoyed him. He still was unsure about his lab partner. There's was something off about him with his changing odd coloured eyes and ice pale skin, but Theo couldn't figure out what.   
Tugging on his waterproof boots, hopefully they would sustain the snowy weather; he followed Bella and Charlie out of the house. "I'll drive," Bella offers, jangling the keys in Theo's direction. "Thank you," he says, throwing a smile at her direction. Not looking the way he was heading proved to be a big mistake. His foot contacted with a patch of unseen ice causing him to lose his balance; slipping down the driveway slightly and landing on his bum and hands.   
"Woah... you ok Theo?" Charlie asks, rushing to his side to help him up.   
"Yeah, ice is difficult to walk on when you have zero sense of balance."  
"Yeah, I know, that's why I put some new tyres on the truck, the old ones where getting pretty worn," he says kicking the front one; clearly uncomfortable by showing his good will gesture. " I'll probably be late for dinner," he continues," I got to head down to Mason County, a security guard was killed by some sort of animal.  
"Animal?" Bella asked.  
" You two aren't in Phoenix anymore," he says.  
" Be careful," Theo tells him; the thought of his father being ripped to shreds by a giant bear flashed in front of his eyes.   
"And thanks for the tyres," Bella adds as they got into the truck and Charlie into his cruiser.

Theo watched Bella as she drove. Her immense concentration on the road as she drives slowly on the frozen tarmac. Her forehead creased, the indents showing the utter focus on the road. The new tyres were great on the road, the truck seemingly having now problem to travel steadily on the way to school. He had to keep his mind on Bella, watching her every movement to stop him from thinking about Edward Cullen. It frustrated Theo that he couldn't get him out of his head. After just one conversation he was completely infatuated with him. Maybe it was because he was so strangely different was the reason his mind kept drifting to him.  
Bella parked in a spot not far from the front doors, cutting the engine quickly just like always. She turned to Theo, taking him in with a glance before saying “are you okay to be here today?"  
"I'm fine," he insists. If he wasn't so anxious to see Edward he would have stayed at home like he did after every other shutdown.   
"I can take you home any time you want," she offers.  
"Bella I'll be fine. I just need a moment alone."  
"I'll leave you to it then." Thank God Bella was understanding. She handed Theo the keys. "Lock it up when you’re ready," she tells him before carefully getting out of the truck. He watches as she clings to the bed of the truck to keep her upright as she makes her way across a patch of ice and across the car park to where Jessica, Mike and Eric are standing. Theo watches them in the rear view mirror, their lips moving but he can't tell what they're saying although both Mike and Jessica do seem to be staring at the truck.   
He sits in the truck alone for a few moments, composing his breaths and trying to compartmentalize his anxieties. Everything was going to be ok he reassured himself. 

Diligently he exits the truck, keeping an eye out for any ice. Theo was determined to completely humiliate himself by falling over in the middle of the parking lot where most of the student body seemed to be still gathering. Copying Bella, he grips the side of truck bed so that he doesn't slip. He leans the majority of his weight against the truck, glad that it's made of thick mental that will provide the stability that Theo needed. He spots Edward Cullen four spaces down, leaning against his car like he was taking part in a photoshoot. His siblings where standing with him, their heads all turned in opposite directions. He was curious to why they would be standing in the cold in silence. 

It was a high-pitched screech that pulled him from his thoughts. It was painfully loud. He almost lost his balance as he released his tight grip on the truck to press his palms over his ears to try and block of the teeth clenching sound. He looked up, startled.   
He saw several things simultaneously. Nothing was moving in slow motion, the way it does in the movies. Theo's brain couldn't absorb as everything seemed to be happening around him. He could pick Bella out of the sea of faces, staring frozen and in shock at him. The dark blue van, the thing that was causing the horrid noise, was skidding towards him, spinning wildly across the ice that coated the parking lot. It was going to his truck. It was going to hit Theo. He was standing by the end of the truck, directly in the path that the van was heading towards. He closed his eyes, preparing for the impact.

Something soundless and swift hit him in the check, somewhat tackling him to the ground where his head cracking against the icy blacktop. Something was on top on him, settling solid and cold sat on his chest. It didn't feel like the van, it wasn't that heavy and he could still hearing the screeching of the van hurtling towards him.   
He reassessed what was happening still with his eyes closed. He was lying on the pavement because he could feel the ice seeping through his clothes. There was something digging into his side, supporting him like he was an infant. It felt like a hand. 

Theo snapped his eyes open and came face to face with Edward Cullen. His face was twisted into a pained shock. Theo inhaled sharply, confused by how he had made it over here so fast but also hyper aware that the van was still crashing not only towards him but Edward to. "Edward-" he gasped, the van connected with a shattering crunch to the back end of his truck, the drivers side sliding towards Theo.  
Edward’s hand that was not securely wrapped around him shot out protectively in front of him and the van shuddered to a stop a foot in front of them. Then his hands moved so fast they blurred. One was suddenly gripping under the body of the van, and something was dragging Theo, swinging his legs around like a rag doll's, till they hit the tire of his truck. A groaning metallic thud burnt his ears, and the van settled, glass popping, onto the asphalt — exactly where, a second ago, his legs had been. 

Now that the van had stopped its screeching silent fell. Just for a second before abrupt bedlam began and the screaming sounded. Everyone seemed to be shouting his name and he heard the rush of feet bounce against the ice. He moved his right hand to cup one of his ears in a desperate attempt to block out any kind of noise possible.  
"Theo? Are you ok?" Edward's low frantic voice was in his ear.   
"It's loud," he complains and he's certain the he hears Edward emit a low chuckle. Theo tried to sit up but he realized his was trapped underneath Edward's weight and iron grip.  
"Be careful," he warned Theo as he continued to try a sit up. "I think you hit your head pretty hard." As soon as Edward mentioned it, Theo felt the throbbing above his left eye and something wet trickled down his face. Blood?   
"How in the..." he trailed off, trying to clear his head, trying to regain his bearings "How did you get over here so fast?"  
"I was standing right next to you," he said, the tone serious again. What an utter lie Theo thought.   
"No you weren't," Theo insisted sitting up, Edward allowing him to this time but not letting go of his waist. We stared at each other for a long time, clear that neither one of us were going to back down before he started “You were standing by your car.”  
“I was standing right next to you Theo... I pulled you out the way.  
Why was he lying, Theo thought in frustration. “No,” he pushed backing, getting closer to Edward’s face. “No you weren’t.”  
“Theo please.”  
“Why,” he demanded.  
“Trust me,” Edward tells him.  
“You’ll tell me later,” Theo doesn’t pose it as a question but as a promise.  
“Fine.”  
“Fine.”

It took six EMTs and two teachers — Mr. Varner and Coach Clapp — to shift the van far enough away so they could bring the stretchers through. Edward refused his, getting up from on top of Theo for the first time since he’d pushed him to the ground. Theo tried to refuse his stretcher too but Edward- the traitor- told them that he’d head his hard and probably had concussion.   
Theo fought against them as they tried to put the neck brace on him. He was already partially lying down on the stretcher, very aware that the entire school was watching. The EMTs had managed to get the driver of the van, Tyler, out without much effort and he was on the stretcher behind Theo. “We’ll have to sedate him,” he catches one EMT say to another. He panics. Shooting Edward a pleading look to help him; hoping that he could prevent the sedation.   
Before Edward to do something, to make this situation even worse, Chief Swan appeared; rushing through the crowd with Bella close behind him. Of course in a small town like his dad would show up.  
“Theo!” He yelled, reaching me in a panic; eyes glazing over the stretcher he was sitting on and the blood drying to his face. “I’m completely fine Dad,” he sighed.   
He turned to the closest EMT for a second opinion. “He needs to but the neck brace on Chief or we’ll have to sedate him,” the EMT informed Charlie.  
“I don’t need it,” Theo pushes, sending his Dad a pleading look to get him out of this.   
“It’s formal procedure,” The EMT continued; clearly annoyed.  
“Is there a chance of leniency?” Charlie asks. “He has autism.” Oh God, there it was. Theo turned to look at Edward who was standing only a few steps behind Charlie, his eyebrows high and curiously looking at him. Yes, he had differently heard.   
But it seemed to do the trick, the EMT finally leaving him alone. 

Naturally, the ambulance got a police escort to the county hospital. He felt ridiculous the whole time they wheeled him through to the emergency room; Edward gliding behind them completely at his own free will. Theo ground his teeth together in annoyance.   
The emergency room is bright, the florescent lighting bouncing of the pristine white walls. It was a long room lined with beds each separated by a pastel patterned curtains  
A nurse enters, swishing the curtain close behind her as she enters to take his blood pressure and temperature; leaving the curtain open behind her.   
Since nobody bothered to grant Theo any privacy, he decided he no longer needed to being lying down on the bed. He sat in silence for a few moments; blinking rapidly as a stim for calming down his need to shy away from the abusive bright light.   
There was another flurry of hospital personnel, as Tyler Crowley was brought in on a stretched that was placed next to Theo. His head was wrapped in bloodstained bandages and he kept staring anxiously at Theo.   
“Theo I’m so sorry!”  
“Tyler I’m fine. You’re worst than me... are you okay.” The nurse had unwrapped Tyler’s bandages to expose a large gashes on cheek and forehead.   
“I thought I was going to kill you,” Tyler continues.  
“Yeah but you didn’t  
“I try to stop but I hit the ice too fast.  
“It;s fine Tyler.”  
“How did you get out of the way so fast? You were there, and then you were gone…"  
"Umm… Edward pulled me out of the way."  
He looked confused. "Who?"  
"Edward Cullen — he was standing next to me." I'd always been a terrible liar; I didn't sound convincing at all.  
"Cullen? I didn't see him… wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is he okay?"  
"I think so. He's here somewhere, but they didn't make him use a stretcher."   
Ha... Theo thought, he knew he hadn’t gone crazy. Edward wasn’t anywhere near him. Tyler hadn’t seen Edward either. What had happened?  
At that Charlie came rushing in, Bella is trailing behind him; both wearing matching looks of worry. “Theo are you ok?”  
“I’m fine,” Theo insisted again.   
“You’re bleeding,” Charlie points out. Theo thought for a second he was going to hug him but Charlie isn’t that sort of person.  
“How did you get out of the way?” Bella asked, moving to sit on the bed next to Theo.  
“Edward pulled me out of the way.” Unlike Tyler, Bella needed no reminder which Edward he was talking about.   
“How?”  
“He was on the way over to talk to me I supposed; just before the van came.” He found himself lying, to Bella of all people, for Edward Cullen. He hated doing that, like he was choosing Edward over Bella.   
The door to the emergency room sounded again; heavy wood scrapping against the lino floor. A doctor walk through- pale and young and handsome; features so familiar that he knew that this must have been Edward’s father. He strides towards them with an air of grace and Bella stands up from his as though he is royalty.   
“I heard the chief’s son was in,” he says, picking up the clipboard with Theo’s information on it.   
“Theodore,” he greets and Theo can muster up the words to even correct him.   
“So it seems you’ve taken quite a spill. How do you feel?”  
“Fine,” Theo mumbles.  
“Look here,” Dr Cullen said, holding a single finger out in front of Theo’s face and shone a torch in his eyes.   
Theo flinched away, the strong white light burning his eyes. He blinks rapidly, head jerking up towards the ceiling in companion. “Did that hurt?” Dr Cullen asked.  
Charlie jumps in before Theo can answer. “Bright lights cause him sensory issues,” he says and Theo winces how textbook that sounds. It’s not very Charlie like and Theo can tell it’s something his mom probably versed Charlie in before he came to Forks.  
“Thanks perfectly fine,” Dr Cullen says with a gentle smile. Theo notes that he too has dark circles under his eyes; standing out against his pale skin. “You might experience some post traumatic stress or disorientation but your vitals look fine. No sign of head trauma. For the cut all you’ll need is a bandage and to take some Tylenol for any pain” he continued.  
“I am fine,” Theo pushes wanting to leave the hospital as soon as possible.   
“Well if you feel ok you’re welcome to go home.”  
“Can’t I go back to school?”  
“You should take it easy for today,” Dr Cullen says with a smile on his lips.  
“I’ll go back, tell everyone you survived,” Bella joked.  
“Actually, they all appear to be in the waiting room.  
Oh God. Theo’s brain pounds against his skull and not because he hit his head. The thought of the entirety of Forks high school waiting for him in the hospital made his stomach turn. He was going to throw up. He runs a hand over his face, hiding his eyes away from the light and groans.  
Dr Culled raised his eyebrows. “Do you want to stay.  
“No- no- urm I’m okay,” Theo insists, jumping up from the hospital bed all too quickly. He staggers and Dr Cullen caught him by the arm. He looked at him concerned.  
“I’m fine,” he reassured the doctor once more. There was no need to tell the Dr that his balance problems had been something he was born with a not a result of the accident. 

“If you follow me chief Swan I’ll get you the release papers to sign.”  
“Lead the way,” Charlie says, following Dr Cullen out of the room.  
“I’ll go and make everyone leave the waiting room,” Bella offers. Theo squeezes Bella’s hand as a thank you before she leaves the room.   
“Theo I’m so sorry.” God... clearly Tyler still wasn’t going to give up any time soon.  
In a desperate attempt to show Tyler that he wasn’t in the mood, Theo drew his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his head.   
He sighed in contentment; the deep pressure from being wrapped so tightly together. Theo stayed that way for a while; kept in his own little world.  
“Is he ok?” a musical voice asked.   
Theo looked up quickly, hurting his neck in the process. Edward was standing at the foot of his bed with a gently smile on his face. Theo tried to muster up a glare to show Edward that he was still mad but it was hard not to ogle at his natural beauty.   
"Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry —" Tyler began.  
Edward lifted a hand to stop him.  
"No blood, no foul," he said, flashing his brilliant teeth. He moved to sit on the edge of Tyler's bed, facing him. He smirked again.  
"So, what's the verdict?" he asked.  
"There's nothing wrong with me at all, this was a waste of time,” Theo complained.   
They stay silent for a while, Edward standing next to the bed almost too still to be real. Theo took this time to examine him. Edward was completely unharmed for the accident; not a mark or scratch on him. Obviously, that wasn’t the biggest mystery to come from the accident but Theo still couldn’t explain it. Theo grazes his hand gentle over the small bandage on his forehead as his eye trail down the Edward’s hands that hang by his sides. Despite the fact that he’s just held a car up, Edward’s hands are also unharmed. No broken bones or bruising. Theo needed answers.  
Edward makes to leave the room but Theo grabs his hand. “Can I speak with you a minute?” Theo hisses under his breath discreetly.   
"Your father is waiting for you," Edward said through his teeth but makes no attempt to remove hand from Theo’s. He knew he was playing a dangerous game, holding Theo so physically close. He glanced at Carlisle who was tending to Tyler, knowing that he was cover for him if he were to kill the boy in his grasp.   
“You promised you’d explain.” Theo knows how childish that sounded but he was glad when it worked. Edward strode out the room- his long legs carrying him faster than Theo’s short ones so he had to jog to keep up; leading him an empty corridor. "What do you want?" he asked, sounding annoyed. His eyes were cold again. So unlike the ones from biology. His unfriendliness was intimidating. “I erm... you... explanation,” Theo curses the shyness that overcomes him causing the broken sentences.   
"I saved your life — I don't owe you anything."  
Theo flinched back from the resentment in Edward’s voice. "You promised."  
"Theo, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about." His tone was cutting.  
“My head is just fine,” Theo says defiantly.  
He glared back. "What do you want from me, Theo?"  
"I want to know the truth," he said. "I want to know why I'm lying for you."  
"What do you think happened?" he snapped.

It came out in a rush.  
“You were nowhere near me and don’t insult me pretending you were. No one saw you. The van was going to crush us both but you- you stopped it. You pushed it away with your hands. Your hands left dents in the side of the van door. You picked it up to stop it from hitting me-” he sounded crazy, that was certain. 

Edward was staring at him incredulously. But his face was tense, defensive. "You think I lifted a van off you?"   
Theo nodded once, lips pressed tightly together.   
"Nobody will believe that, you know." His voice held an edge of derision now.  
"I'm not going to tell anybody." Theo said each word slowly so he remembered to breathe in between.   
Surprise flitted across Edward’s face. "Then why does it matter?"  
"It matters to me," he insisted. "I don't like to lie — so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it."  
"Can't you just thank me and get over it?"  
"Thank you." Theo waited, fuming and expectant.  
"You're not going to let it go, are you?"  
"No."  
"In that case… I hope you enjoy disappointment." They scowled at each other before Theo turned on his heel stumbling for a second before stomping off back to the main reception. 

Bella had done a good job of clearing the waiting room. Only she and Charlie now remained. He was glad that the entire student body of Forks high school wasn’t sat there and staring at him.   
Charlie rushed to his side but Theo stuck his hands up to prevent him from helping him walk. "There's nothing wrong with me," he assured his dad sullenly.   
“What took you so long?” Bella asked with a glint of something he didn’t recognise in her eyes.”  
“I was thanking Edward for saving me.” The lie came out easy and strong. Both Bella and Charlie seem to accept it as the walk slower than needed out of the hospital. He’d never been so happy to be inside the cruiser.   
They drove in silence until they dropped Bella off back at school. Theo was so wrapped up in his thoughts about Edward and what had happened that he barley registered that Charlie was speaking. “Sorry what?” Theo asked   
"Um… you'll need to call Renée." He hung his head, guilty.  
"You told Mom!"  
"Sorry."   
Theo slammed the cruiser's door a little harder than necessary on his way out.

His mom was in hysterics, of course, insisting that he came home. He tried explain that he was fine and that the house was empty so he was better- and safer- in Forks with Bella and Charlie. But nothing seemed to work so he allowed her to continue to talk until she had calmed down.   
Theo decided that he should get an early night; unable to deal with both Bella and Charlie watching his every move anxiously. He grabbed some Tylenol, swallowing them dry as he got into bed; drifting off into sleep.

That was the first night he dreamed of Edward Cullen.


	7. Nightime wanderings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only a small chapter but I wanted to make sure that I posted twice tonight. Enjoy.

In his dreams it was very dark. Theo was aware that it was a dream. He knew that he’d never go wandering into the damp forest in just his underwear and socks but that didn’t prevent the immense panic that rose in his throat. Every part of the forest looked the same yet nothing was familiar. No light dropped through exposed holes in the leaves on the trees; he had well and truly been plunged into utter darkness. 

Branches snapped in the distance... his ears perking up at the sign of life. “Hello,” he called into the abyss that seemed to stretch out for miles in front of him. Theo hoped someone would emerge from the darkness to help him out of this thick forest to somewhere he knew; even Forks high school would be better than this. Although there was something nagging in the back of his mind that this was bad, a psycho or a wild animal perhaps running towards him.   
Not far in front of his a figure appeared in the shadows as though who or whatever it was was hiding. “Hello,” he says again a little quieter this time. Theo begins to make his way forward towards the figure. “Please can you help me?” He’s aware how utterly pathetic his plea is, how weak his begging comes across but Theo couldn’t stand being in the forest any more. The panic had spread throughout the entirety of his body, making his legs turn to lead and lungs ache and his hands twitch. 

The figure turned to face him. “Edward?” He questioned. His had been the last face that Theo had expected to see. Edward was perched upon a rock that sat a few feet in front of Theo between a parting in some trees. Light appeared to be emitting from his pale skin, glimmering as though sunlight. Then as suddenly as he appeared, he was gone. Edward took off into the forest, leaving a trail of light behind him as he tore through the thick woodland at a rate Theo had never seem people move before.   
“Edward,” he yelled, stumbling over fallen branches and holes in the ground. No matter how fast he ran it didn’t matter because he could catch Edward up. He was moving at an impeccable speed, moving swiftly as if charging towards something through the forest. The trees and uneven floors did not seem to slow Edward down although Theo had to fight with every step. No matter how loud Theo called his name he never turned.

Theo chased him through endless wood for what felt like hours. He’d stopped calling his name with such vigour, only whispering his name every now and then almost serving as a reminder to Edward that he was following him. He was growing tired, everything burning; he wasn’t use to this much exercise and relentless running.   
“Edward please slow down,” he begs as he comes to a stop. Theo watches as Edward continues running, chasing something that Theo couldn’t see. “I can’t keep up,” Theo tries again, hoping that   
Edward halts; stopping dead. Theo thanks him silently that he’s stopped running. Finally he can catch his breath. This thankfulness doesn’t last long. Edward wheels around, sending a smirk towards Theo before bolt directly at him. He rips trees from the ground and kicks the ground up as he runs in Theo’s direction. And Theo braces himself for the impact. For the heavy crushing weight... 

Theo wakes up panting, a thin sheen of sweat coating his forehead. The sheets beneath him are twisted; pulled from him bed from his constant thrashing about in his slumber. The room is unusually dark, almost casting him straight back to the hellish forest from his dream. Glancing sideways he notes that his night light sitting on his bedside table had gone out. Theo leans carefully over the side of his bed to switch the light on when something caught his eye. 

He whipped his head, all most painfully to look at the corner of his room where the rocking chair sat. It was dark there but he was certain he saw... "Edward," he called somewhat foolishly into the darkness before he frantically switched on the light. 

Nothing.

His room was empty. Edward wasn't there. Theo sighed, flopping back against his pillow. Maybe he was going crazy.


	8. Frustraions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi... 
> 
> Sorry I've been gone for so long but hopefully I'll be back with some sort of normal updates.

The month following the accident was painful. 

Theo found himself once again the centre of everyone's attention; only this time he didn't have Bella going through the same thing to help him through it. Tyler Crowley followed him everywhere and kept insisting that he'd help with basic mundane tasks such as carrying Theo's books to class or paying for him lunch to make up for what had happened. It didn't help that Tyler seemed to have a crush on Bella and would shamelessly flirt with her right in front of him. Everyone had questions about how he had survived and no one seemed to believe his story of Edward pulling him out of the way. In fact nobody wanted to see Edward as the hero, which he completely was. And even once school had ended, Theo felt as though he couldn't escape the humiliation and the tension. Bell had questions. And lots of them. It was the only time that he cursed the natural ability Bella had to read him like a book. She knew there was something that he wasn't telling her. She was better at backing off when she knew Theo was on the edge but he could still feel the way Bella would look at him. A stare that would burn into the back of his head that made their usually silences uncomfortable. 

Jessica had taken this as the perfect opportunity to get closer to him was also causing him trouble. Theo could tell that her constant doting on him was inadvertently irritating Mike. Of course Mike would never say anything about it and Theo couldn't even think of a way to start a conversation because he wasn't too sure what was going on but they had seemingly developed an odd and awkward love triangle. Lunch was agonizing. Theo found himself trapped between Jessica and Bella around their overcrowded table. Mike watched from the other side of the table as Jessica chatted away to him- though Theo never really listened- and kept touching him and laughing this high pitched fake laugh because nothing was funny. 

But worst of all was that Edward had gone back to ignoring him. The day after the accident, when Bella and Charlie had deemed him well enough to return to school, Theo had tried to talk to Edward. He shuffled into Biology almost meekly still somewhat afraid that he's annoyed Edward by insisting that he answers his questions. "Hello Edward," he greeted quietly once he reached their shared desk. But he was only met with silence. Theo noted that once again Edward had his chair pulled the furthest away from Theo, angled in the complete opposite direction so Edward wouldn't have to look at him. He felt the burning anger bubble in his chest again. Why was Edward ignoring him? How could he go from saving his life one minute to refusing to acknowledge his existence the next? Every night he dreamt of Edward Cullen. Always the same dream of Theo chasing him through the thick forest and never being able to catch him. It always ended the same too, with Edward launching himself at Theo. Edward was starting to feel less like his saviour and more like his attacker. And despite this Theo still couldn't stop himself from watching Edward. Every lunch time was would watch the Cullens and the Hales at their lunch table not caring who saw him. 

"Jessica's going to ask you to the spring dance," Bella informed him after dinner the first Tuesday in march.  
"What?" he asked startled. Theo had been caught up in his latest stim which was to create a rock sign on his left hand and quickly rotate his wrist until his hand looked blurry.  
"I just got off the phone with Jessica," Bella started again. "She asked if I was ok with her asking you to the spring dance in two weeks."  
"What did you say?"  
"I told her to ask you."  
"What should I say?"  
"Well what do you want to say?" Bella sat on his bed uninvited. She knew the answer would be no. And not just because he was autistic and couldn't dance but because Theo was 100% gay. He'd come out to Bella when they were fourteen and then his mom a few months after. He'd still yet been able to tell Charlie though.   
"I want to say no.... How do I say no?"  
"Tell her you have plans," Bella suggested.  
"But I don't have plans."  
"Then make plans." Bella said with a small smile. She had missed these somewhat normal conversations with Theo.   
"Do I have to I'm gay?"  
"Do you want to tell her that you're gay?"  
"Not really." Theo was a firm believer that "coming out" should not be a thing and nobody should just assume someone else's sexuality but he knew that wouldn't happen. The whole process of telling some he was gay made him feel uncomfortable and a little nauseous because he couldn't always gage the reaction of the person he was going to tell.  
"Then you don't have to tell her," Bella told him and he was thankful that she always seemed to have the answers. 

The next day Mike met Theo by his locker. This was unusual of Mike as he favoured to hang around with Jessica and Bella in the morning or with his basketball buddies.  
"Are you asking Jessica to the formal?" Mike asked sharply. So he was getting straight to the point.  
"I thought it was girl's choice." Oh God why was that his response? Why didn't he just say no? Theo internally cursed himself.  
Mike rolled his eyes. "Will you say yes if she asks you to the dance?"  
"I'm not going Mike... I'll urm say no."  
“Oh, ok. Well then...I’m gonna ask her out then. Are you sure you don’t mind, she seems to really like you.” Theo could see that Mike had visibly relaxed once he told him that he'd tell Jessica no but he still seemed mad.  
Theo tried to swallow the nausea brought on by the uncertainty so that he could smile at Mike. “I’m sure, go ask her out Mike.”   
He nods and they stand still for a few unpleasant moments until the warning bell rang. They bid quick, stiff goodbyes before dashing in opposite directions to class.

Jessica pulled his hand into hers as they approached the cafeteria. Theo hated the way her slightly sweaty palm felt against his hand and politely tugged his hand free. Well he hoped it was polite. "I need to speak to you," she told him.   
"Ok," he replied unsure of how to react to that.  
"I'll save yous seats," Bella said, leaving them to go join the lunch queue   
“So uh, Mike asked me to the spring formal earlier.” She says, blushing and looking to the side. “I turned him down.”  
Oh God why?  
"But I thought you liked Mike?"  
"Because well... I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?" Her voice fades towards the end and Theo realizes how nervous she is.  
"I'm not going to the dance." Her face fell. Shit... he was being too blunt.   
“Why aren’t you going?” She demands.  
Theo hadn't planned on being ambushed by Jessica so quickly after talking to Bella and stupidly hadn't come up with an excuse of prearranged plans that he couldn't get out of.   
"I wouldn't be a never good date," he says and Theo knows he's blushing because he can feel how warm his face feels. He presses his palm into his right eye socket because he can feel a headache forming. He was becoming dangerously overwhelmed. If he couldn't get out of this conversation soon, Jessica finding out he was gay would be the least of his worries because he was on the verge of a full blown meltdown.  
A small noise of acceptance, maybe even irritation. That's all he gets before Jessica spins on her heel and marches into the cafeteria. She goes to join Mike in the lunch line and immediately starts chatting away which Theo takes as a good sign. Bella already had his lunch waiting for him- pasta salad with the tomatoes already removed- and has saved him a seat at the edge of the table so nobody but her is sitting beside him. Other than the small "thank you" he mutters her way he remains silent for the remainder of lunch. 

On their way to biology, Mike starts talking about the dance again.  
“I didn’t think she was going to say yes but she did!” He says, excitement filling his voice.  
“That’s great Mike,” Bella said but Theo could tell that she was more thankful that it had gotten Jessica of his back. They continued to talk about the dance, chatting away until the got into Biology while Theo hung back because he still felt the need to be silent.   
For the first time in week Theo spared no glance in Edward's direction. He just collapses onto his stool and folds in on himself. His headache hadn't gone a way and he could still feel the meltdown under his skin; it was almost like he was coated in sand.   
"Theo?"   
Startled, Theo snapped his head up. Edward was talking to him. Edward was staring right at him without blinking. Usually Theo would try to stand his ground and stare right back but he doesn't have the energy to act tough today and looks just above Edward's right ear. Theo can feel his heart beat heavily against his chest and the heat returns to his face which is no doubt an obvious blush.   
“I’m sorry,” he continues when Theo doesn't reply. He sounds sincere. “I know I’m being rude but trust me when I say it’s better this way. Safer.”  
“What does that even mean Edward?” he ask, already exasperated from this conversation.  
“I mean,” he explains, “is it’s better off if we’re not associated with one another. That we’re not friends.”  
Theo sighs. Anger flashes through him. He buries his face in his arms on the desk. "I don't want to talk with you right now," he tells Edward not caring how rude that sounds but Edward was being rude too so he guessed it didn't really matter. 

Theo stands up fast causing his stall to scrape loudly against the floor and his head to spin. It literally felt like his head was imploding and his brain was ceasing to exist. The classroom full of people made him feel trapped. He ran.


	9. Switch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a week of college so I'm planning on more chapters this upcoming week. Yay! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's sticking with me and these slow updates.

Theo spent the remainder of his school day hiding in the truck. He was grateful for Bella who had lied to both Mr Molina and Coach Clapp saying that he'd gone home sick so that he can stay hidden outside; hiding away with his headphones on and trying not to freeze to death. He shuffled through his "Anti- meltdown" playlist; nodding along gently while he rummaged through his bag for a battered copy of Wuthering Heights.   
It was a relief when he spotted Bella amongst the steady stream of students existing the building. She practically ran over to him when she caught his eyes as he stood leaning against the side of the truck. His limbs had stiffened from sitting inside the truck for so long in the cold and he needed to stretch them.  
"How are you feeling?" Bella asked, her checks tinged pink from the cold.  
"Better." And that was true. Theo no longer felt like tearing his flesh off or as though his brain was breaking out from his skull.   
"Home?"  
"Home." He agreed.  
He yanked the door open and jumped inside, slamming unnecessarily loudly behind him because of how frozen his fingers still felt. Bella revved the deafeningly loud engine and reversed out into the aisle. Edward was in his car already and slide out of his space, two spots down and cut up the truck. He stopped there- waiting for his family who were walking towards the car but were still by the cafeteria.  
Theo chanced a glance in the rear view mirror. A line was forming behind them. 

He tried, desperately, to not look at the car in front of him so to avoid Edward's eye when he heard a knock on his window. It was Eric. He'd left his car still parked behind the truck, engine running and the door left wide open. Theo cranked the window down, struggling with the stiffness until it was half down before giving up.  
"I'm sorry Eric, we're stuck behind Cullen," Theo practically spat. He knew Edward couldn't hear him and his annoyance but he wanted to make it clear that it wasn't their fault for the hold up.   
"That's ok- I actually wanted to ask you something."  
This was not happening.  
"Would you like to go to the spring dance with me?" he continued.   
"I'm not in town then Eric," he said voice sharp but he tried to level out his frustration; he could not get a break today but that wasn't Eric's fault.  
"That's what Jessica said," he admitted.  
"Then why would you ask me." Okay it was completely his fault.  
"I was hoping that you were letting him down easy because you're..."  
"Gay?"  
"Well yeah," Eric lifts his hand to scratch the back of his head out of awkwardness.   
"I'm not going to the dance Eric," Theo says his voice laced with irritation.   
"That's cool," Eric says, biding both he and Bella a quick goodbye before fleeing to his car. 

Theo turned his face forward, trying to hide the shock that Eric was gay- or at least had some interest in guys- and had just asked him to the dance. Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were all sliding gracefully into the shiny Volvo. For a brief second Theo met Edward's eyes in the rear view mirror of Edward's car. His eyes burnt into Theo's and filled with what looked like amusement and something that he didn't know- it was as if he'd heard everything that Eric had said.   
"Drive at him," he told Bella. The truck would scratch up the nice paint job in Edward's car.  
"No Theo," Bella said with slight look of amusement on her face. "See they're going now." She nodded her head just as Edward was speeding away. 

Bella decides on making chicken enchiladas and Theo decides to help; it's been long overdue that he helped out Bella with some of these household chores. Plus it was long winded and would give him something to occupy his mind. He was chopping vegetables, carefully because he wanted to avoid another trip to the emergency room when Bella asked "Are you going to tell me what's going on between you and Edward?"  
"Nothing's going on," he lied but he knew it was pointless because Bella knew him better then anyone.  
"You've been staring at him since we arrived in Forks and a month ago he saved you from being squashed to death by a truck."  
"That doesn't mean anything."  
"Stop trying to lie because you're rubbish at it," Bella laugh. Only if she knew though that perhaps Theo was better at lying then she thought because he'd been hiding the truth about what happened with the accident. And even if he didn't truly understand what had happened, he still was holding back on what had happened.   
"We're just Biology partners... that's all."  
"Do you like him? Like do you have a crush on him?"  
"I don't know," Theo admits. "He's difficult to work out. One minute he's making overly polite conversation and saving my life and the next he's telling me that it's better that weren't not friends."  
"Maybe that means he wants you to be more then friends," Bella suggested.  
"Or maybe he's seen how absorbed I've been in him and Edward thinks it's better that we're not friends because he's not interested in me at all." Theo bit his lip as he confessed his big insecurity. Edward was interesting and brilliant and mysterious and perfect and beautiful and had the ability to lift a full sized van with one hand.   
"He stares at you a lot too," Bella tells him.  
"He might not be gay."  
"Or he might be." Their conversation ends there and they return to there comfortable silence; only the sound of chopping and the pan sizzling. 

They carried on this way, Theo leaving Bella to finish off cooking while he set the table, until Charlie returned how from work. He seemed suspicious when he came home and smelled the green peppers. Theo couldn't blame him - the closest edible Mexican food was probably in southern California and Charlie wasn't know for doing much- if any- home cooking. But he was a cop, even if just a small-town cop, so he was brave enough to take the first bite. He seemed to like it. It was fun to watch as he slowly began trusting then in the kitchen

"Dad?" Bella asked as Charlie scrapped the remainder of his dinner of his plate.  
"Yeah Bells?"  
"Do you know the Cullen family?" She asked and Theo shot her a glare. Why was she doing this to him?  
"Yeah... why do you ask?"  
"Thei kids are a little... different. They don't seem to fit in very well at school."   
"People in this town." Charlie looked angry which surprised both Theo and Bella. "Dr Cullen is a brilliant surgeon; we're lucky to have him, lucky that his wife wanted to live in a small town. And those kids are always well behaved and polite. I had my doubts, with them being adopted teenagers but they're very mature and haven't caused any trouble. Just because they're new comers, people have to talk."  
It was the longest speech that Theo had ever heard Charlie make.  
"They seem nice enough to me," Theo steps in; trying to backpedal for Bella. She shot him a look as if she actually expected him to tell Charlie about sitting beside Edward and how odd his behaviour had been.  
"Why'd you ask Bells? You thinking of asking one of them to the dance?" Of course, in a small town like this, Charlie would know about the dance.  
"Urm no... actually I'm going with Tyler Crowley," Bella said with a pink blush tinging her cheeks.   
"The kid that nearly hit Theo with his truck?" Charlie asked with his eyebrow raised.   
"Yes dad and that was an accident."  
"Just promise you'll be safe."  
"I'll be perfectly fine. A group of us is going so it won't just be us two." Charlie seemed to visibly relax at that.   
He turned to Theo. "And what about you, has anyone asked?"  
"Urm I not going to the dance." Theo felt awkward, wondering if it was now that he was going to have to explain that Jessica had asked him but he turned her down because he was gay. That was not a conversation that he felt ready to have with Charlie.  
"It might be fun kid."  
"Dances aren't really my thing- with the lights and the crowds and the dancing. I was actually thinking about heading to Seattle.... if that's ok?" Theo tacked asking permission on the end, feeling rude not to at least ask.   
"Why?" He sounded surprised, as if he were unable to imagine something that Forks couldn't offer.  
"I wanted to get a few books- the library here is pretty small- and maybe some music." He needed to get out of Forks.   
"That truck probably doesn't get very good gas mileage."  
"I'll stop in Montesano and Olympia - and Tacoma if I have to."  
"Are you going all by yourself?" he asked, and it annoyed Theo that Charlie thought he wasn't capable of looking after himself..  
"Yes."  
"Seattle is a big city - you could get lost," he fretted.  
"Dad, Phoenix is five times the size of Seattle - and I can read a map, don't worry about it."  
"Do you want me to come with you?"  
Theo tried to be crafty as he hid his horror.  
"That's all right, Dad, I'll probably just be wondering around looking at books all day. It'll be boring."  
"Oh, okay."   
"Thanks." Theo smiled at him, glad that he had put him off. 

They lapsed back into silence as they finished eating. Theo cleared the table while Bella and Charlie started the dishes. He was glad for the silence that they could exist it when doing mundane task. Don't get him wrong Theo loved his mother greatly but she had a tendency to fill any silence with frivolous small talk. It was a good thing about Charlie. Afterwards they headed for living room. Charlie went back to the TV and he and Bella sat to complete their respective math homework. He felt bad for spending so much time hiding away upstairs from Bella and Charlie these past few weeks.  
That night everything was finally quiet. He feel asleep quickly, exhausted.


	10. A date? Or not a date?... that is the question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had such a nightmare updating this chapter. Sorry for the wait.

Theo drove them to school the next morning, feeling long over due to take on the duty and feeling guilty for making Bella do it for the past month. He spotted Edward's car parked in the same spot as yesterday and headed towards the back of the car park; wanting to avoid him for as long as possible. Theo also was not too sure if he could trust himself not to take out Edward's car and there was no way that he could afford to repay him.  
"Why have you parked this far away?" Bella complained, looking up at the sky. It wasn't raining but the sky had a grey tint that was ever present in Forks that told them it would be raining soon.  
"It's out of the way." Theo knew that it was a terrible excuse but felt foolish having to tell Bella that he was hiding from Edward Cullen.  
"Fine," she replied eyeing him suspiciously. "Are you coming with me today?" She shot a glance to where Mike, Jessica and Eric had gathered around Mike's car and were undoubtedly waiting for us to join them. Theo didn't think he could face the awkwardness of being with both Eric and Jessica this early in the morning.  
"Actually I'm going to walk the long way around," he told Bella as he fished his ear phones and MP3 out of his coat.  
"Be careful."  
"Bells it's unlikely that I'm going to run into any danger walking to class is it."  
"You'll find a way," she jokes.

They depart ways with silent goodbyes as they exit the truck. Theo heads towards the main entrance of the building but diverts in favour of walking around the buildings to get to English opposed to walking through the buildings. He just rounded the side of the cafeteria running his hand gently across the wall, grateful that it was quiet around here so he could do so without anybody watching.  
Someone tapping startles Theo. He turns around and rips his earphones out in fright; fearing that Bella had been right about him being able to find trouble on the way to English. Edward Cullen was learning against the wall that he'd just walked past and Theo knew he wasn't there before.  
"Why do you keep doing that?"  
"What?"  
"Appearing out of thin air."  
"Theo it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant," his voice was quiet but carried traces of humour; as though he knew something that Theo didn't.  
"What was with last night?"  
"That was for Eric's benefit not mine."  
"What?"  
"I had to give him chance. He'd been waiting to ask you all day," he snickered."  
"You-" Theo wasn't sure what he was going to say but he could feel the heat rise to face in embarrassment. A flash of anger struck Theo, why was Edward finding this so amusing?  
"I thought you were supposed to be pretending that I don't exist remember? Or are you just trying to irritate me to death?" It came out much ruder than Theo actually meant but he tried to stand by it. Even if all his thoughts became tangled when he looked into Edward's deep golden coloured eyes.  
"I'm not pretending that you don't exist."  
"So you're trying to irritate me to death then; since Tyler's van didn't do the job."  
"You are being utterly absurd."  
"Just leave me alone Edward," Theo said and cursed how childish he sounded. He wanted to cry. Crying had always been his response to things- anger, upset, frustration, and on occasion happiness- and it annoyed him. Theo turned and started to walk away, not wanting to face further embarrassment and actually start crying in front of Edward.

"Wait," Edward called after him, easily keeping up with Theo with his long strides. Theo didn't stop walking when Edward followed him. "I'm sorry that was rude."  
"Yes it was," Theo agreed accidently out loud. That caused Edward to laugh again, seemingly bouncing back into his good humour. Theo couldn't keep up.  
"Was there something particularly important that you wanted to talk to me about Edward because I'm going to be late for class," Theo asked when Edward kept following him.  
"Actually I wanted to ask you something, but you keep sidetracking me," he laughed.  
"Do you have a multiple personality disorder?" Theo asked severely.  
"You're sidetracking again," he points out.  
"Fine. What did you want to ask?"  
"I was wondering if a week from Saturday- you know the day of the spring dance-"  
"Are you mocking me?" Theo asked. He tried to sound threatening but the anxiousness of Edward making fun of him was shining through. Even more so when he brought his hand up to scratch the back of his neck- more of a nervous tic then a stim.  
"Will you please let me finish," Edward said still amused.  
Theo crossed his arms and bit his lip as a sign that he won't continue to interrupt.  
"I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."  
That was not expected.  
"What?" Theo questioned, unsure if he heard him correctly.  
"Do you want a ride to Seattle?" Edward said slowly as though Theo needed it breaking down.  
"With who?"  
"Myself, obviously," he said still enunciating every syllable.  
"Why?" he asked stunned.  
"Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it."  
"My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern."  
"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?"  
"I don't see how that is any of your business." Stupid, shiny Edward with stupid shiny Volvo.  
"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."  
"I can't keep up with you," Theo puts out. "I thought you didn't want to be my friend."  
"It's better that we're not friends, that doesn't mean that I don't want to be."  
"That makes no sense."  
"It would be more... prudent for you not to be my friend. But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you Theo," he explained his voice smouldering. Theo forgot how to breathe.  
"Ok, well I'm glad you've cleared all that up," Theo said with heavy sarcasm.  
"Will you go with me to Seattle?" he asked, still intense.  
"Do I have much of a choice?" Theo laughed. He liked being care free with Edward but was still weary of his tendency to switch.  
Edward laughed in return then said "You really should stay away from me," he warned. "I'll see you in class."  
He turned abruptly and walked back the way Theo had just come. 

Theo made his way to English in a daze, oblivious to the fact that class had already started by the time he walked in because he was still trying to figure Edward out. Had his last warning been real or was he joking? Why had Edward chosen now to be nice? And most importantly, had Edward just asked him on a date? Or was he now being overly friendly to make up for ignoring him? Theo couldn't work it out.  
"Thank you for joining us, Mr Swan," Mr Mason said in a disparaging tone.  
Theo flushed a bright red and hurried to his seat.  
Jessica was already sat down at their shared desk. Her backed straightened as Theo approached and she stared blankly at the front of the classroom. "Morning Jess," he greeted, awkwardly trying to ease the tension. He was always pretty pathetic at doing it though. She didn't turn to look at him.  
"I urm heard you're going to the dance with Mike. That's great." That got her attention. She turned to look at him with a bright smile.  
"It is isn't it," she gushed.  
"What are you going to wear?" Theo asked, trying to keep Jessica happy.  
"Well I've been thinking of something strapless," she starts before launching into a big explanation about dress plans. Theo listened, nodding when he thought was right but mainly stayed silently because it's the least he could do.

The rest of the morning past in an uneventful blur. Theo seemingly managed to keep Jessica happy and keep the conversation far away from him which gave him time to think. He was unnaturally excited about seeing Edward at lunch. Too exited he supposed. Bella had to physically stop him from slamming him hands against the table in Spanish as he got more and more impatient about seeing Edward again. His stims got like that some times. Borderline harmful. It was difficult to believe that he hadn't just imagined what Edward had said. Maybe it was a convincing day dream that Theo had begun confusing with reality; God knows he dreamt about Edward enough. It being all a dream seemed a lot more probable than Theo appealing to Edward in any way. 

He was frustrated and anxious by the time he entered the cafeteria. Theo wanted to face him again, to see if he was still being friendly or if he had reverted back to the indifferent person that he had been dealing with for the last several weeks. Jessica was babbling on still about dance plans with Bella, Lauren and Angela listening and adding in put but her words fell on deaf ears regarding Theo.  
Theo glanced quickly around the cafeteria to not seem to obvious before looking at the Cullen's usual table. Disappointment flooded through him as his eyes unerringly focused on his table. The other four were there, but Edward was absent. Had he gone home? A strange, uncomfortable feeling settled in his stomach as he made his way to his table and he began to second guess his mind. Had he really imagined it all. Most people were already seated around their usual lunch table as they approached. “La Push, baby. You in?” Eric asked, eyes glancing between Bella and Theo; his eyes lingering on Theo for a few seconds too long “Should I know what that means?” Bella laughs out. “La Push beach, down on the Quileute rez. We're all going this Saturday,” Mike clarifies. “Big swell coming in. “And I don't just surf the internet,” Eric said, standing on his chair in a surfing pose with Mike mirroring him. “Eric, you stood up once. On a foam board,” Jessica laughs. “There's whale watching, too. Come with.” Angela flashed him a shy smile. He liked her, Theo decided. She was the kindest and by far the most uncomplicated person in the group. “La Push, baby.” “Ok we’ll come if you stop saying that,” Bella agreed for the both of them. Theo knew that the weather was supposed to be nice this weekend but it would in the forties at the highest. He disliked the beach in the blister heat of Phoenix so he did think he’d like it very much in the damp grey of Forks. Plus having to spend the day in the company of Eric and Jessica, who he still felt awkward around wasn’t going to make it much better. Despite Theo losing all his appetite Bella insisted that he ate something so he picked up a pre packaged sandwich just to please her. He just wanted to go sit down and sulk for the remaining of lunch. He found himself stuck between Bella and Jessica- thankfully Mike had managed to squeeze between Jess and Angela. Theo couldn’t stand another awkward lunch with Mike’s threatening gaze and obnoxious huffing at him. He stuck his headphones on to shut off the surrounding cafeteria babble which was beginning to make him feel nauseous.

He’s absentmindedly bobbing his head along to his music, lunch lying untouched on the table in front of him when Jessica taps him on the shoulder. Theo takes a big breath and tries to level out his face so that Jessica doesn’t see how disappointed he is about being interrupted.  
“Edward Cullen is staring at you again,” she said once he’d removed his headphones and turns to look at her. “I wonder why he’s sitting alone today.”  
Theo’s head snapped up. He follows Jessica’s gaze to see that Edward is staring at him from an empty table across the cafeteria from where he usually sat. Once he’d caught Theo’s eye he smiled and raised one hand, motioning with his index finger for Theo to join him. He even winked; much to Theo’s disbelief.  
“Does he mean you?” Jessica asked with insulting astonishment in her voice.  
“Maybe he needs help with homework for Biology,” Theo mutters much for Jessica’s benefit. He’d already upset her once. “I’m going to see what he wants,” he says, lifting his backpack up awkwardly as he stood.  
“Don’t forget your lunch,” Bella said, handing him his still wrapped sandwich.  
He can feel their stares as he walks towards Edward.  
When he reaches Edward’s table, he stands behind the nearest chair across from Edward unsure of what to do next. “Why don’t you sit with me today?” he asks smiling and gesturing to the chair that Theo was standing behind.  
He sat down automatically; afraid that is he didn’t Edward would change his mind and revert to the harsh cold person that he’d been the last few weeks. Theo watches him cautiously. Edward was still smiling. It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be real. He was still half afraid that Edward would disappear from right in front of him and Theo would wake up in his bedroom having dreamt it all.  
“This is new,” Theo said. He glanced over at Edward’s usually table more out of habit than anything else and spied on his brothers and sisters. All were looking away, silent and almost unmoving apart from his sister with the short spiky hair; Alice he thought her name was. She was staring at him and smiling wide. Theo quickly adverted his eyes and turned back to look at Edward, embarrassed that he’d been caught staring by Edward’s family.  
“Well...” Edward paused as if debating if he should say what he’s going to say next. “I decided as long as I’m going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.”  
Theo stared blankly at him for a few seconds before saying “You know I don’t have any idea what you mean.”  
"I know." He smiled again, and then he changed the subject. "I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you."  
"They'll survive." He could feel their stares boring into his back.  
"I may not give you back, though," he said with a wicked glint in his eyes.  
Once again Theo stared at him wordlessly unsure exactly what to make of what Edward was saying. He gulped.  
Edward laughed. “You look worried.”  
“I’m not,” Theo insisted. “It’s just a surprise. It’s very un-Edward of you. What’s brought all this on?” He’s trying to avoid the difficult question that he fears will make Edward run away or turn cold again. Like how he has superhuman power? Or why did he suddenly not hate him?  
"I told you — I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." He was still smiling, but his ochre eyes were serious.  
“Giving up what exactly?” He repeated, confusing growing  
"Yes — giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may." His smile faded as he explained, and a hard edge crept into his voice.  
“I’m lost again,” Theo pointed out.  
The breathtaking crooked smile reappeared.  
"I always say too much when I'm talking to you — that's one of the problems."  
"Don't worry — I don't understand any of it," I said wryly.  
"I'm counting on that."  
"So, in plain English, are we friends now?"  
"Friends…" he mused, dubious.  
“Yes friends.”  
He grinned. "Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you."  
“I’m not sure I want to be your friend,” Theo says.  
Edward face drops.  
“I didn’t mean I don’t want to be I’m just not sure I can,” Theo says with a deep blush rising on his cheeks. “My brain doesn’t work well with not knowing facts,” he alludes to his autism knowing that Edward certainly overheard Charlie after the accident. “You confuse me.”  
“I’m trusting you to be smart and avoid me,” he says the warning still behind his words.  
“I’m smart,” Theo snaps. “Just because I have autism doesn’t mean I’m not intelligent. My brain just works a little differently from yours.” He becomes defensive, crossing his arms across his chest and glaring at Edward. The gall of him.  
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Edward says with an apologetic smile. “I just meant that you shouldn’t want to be my friend.”  
“Well I do want to be your friend if you’re going to stop being so exceptionally difficult,” he huffs out.  
Edward laughs. All sense of seriousness dripping from the conversation.  
“I’m exceptionally difficult?”  
“Yes you are,” but Theo smiles; there’s no malice behind his words. “So are we friends or not?”  
“We’re friends,” Edward agrees.  
They lapse into silence, their agreement of being friends something they’re both individually processing. Theo was glad that he could be friends with Edward now, maybe it would lessen his obsession- or at least it would stop his dreams. But there was also a part of him that wanted him to mean more to Edward than just friendship. And he couldn’t help that thought even though he knew it was ridiculous. He wasn’t even sure if Edward was gay. And if he was, why would he be interested in him?

“What are you thinking?” Edward asks curiously, breaking their silence.  
Theo feel into those golden eyes and quickly became befuddled; having to shake his head quickly to stop the truth falling out his mouth. He settled for, “I’m trying to figure out what you are.”  
Edward’s jaw tightened but his smile remained in place much to Theo’s delight. "Are you having any luck with that?" he asked in an offhand tone.  
"Not too much," he admitted.  
He chuckled. "What are your theories?"  
Theo blushed then shook his head. They were stupid and would certainly make him seem foolish. He was not telling Edward.  
."Won't you tell me?" he asked, tilting his head to one side with a shockingly tempting smile.  
"Too embarrassing."  
"That's really frustrating, you know," he complained.  
“Is it really? You know most of us go around not knowing what’s going on inside another person’s head.”  
When Edward didn’t answer Theo continued, "I can't imagine why that would be frustrating at all just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean… now, why would that be frustrating?"  
Edward grimaced.  
"Or better," I continued, the pent-up annoyance flowing freely now, "say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things — from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that, either, even after he promised. That, also, would be very non-frustrating."  
"You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?"  
“I don't like hypocrites."

They stared at each other unsmiling though there was far less tension between them now than there was earlier.  
Edward glanced over him shoulder then looked unexpectedly puzzled, perhaps even mad.  
“What?”  
“Your sister thinks I’m being unpleasant to you. She’s debating whether or not to come break up out fight.”  
“You’re wrong,” Theo tells him admittedly although he doesn’t have to turn around to know that Bella is staring; those thousand of questions that have been whirling around her head no doubt started back up again. She also had a tendency to come to his rescue.  
"I'm not. I told you, most people are easy to read."  
"Except me, of course."  
"Yes. Except for you." His mood shifted suddenly; his eyes turned brooding. "I wonder why that is."  
Theo looked away, focusing on his hands twisting together and apart so to get away from the intensity of Edward’s stare.  
"Aren't you hungry?" he asked, motioning to the still wrapped sandwich which Theo had cast aside as soon he sat down.  
"No." Theo didn’t want to mention that his stomach was full anxiety; there was no way of fitting food in a long side of it. "You?" Edward didn’t have his usual tray of food today.  
"No, I'm not hungry." Theo didn't understand his expression — it looked like he was enjoying some private joke.

"Can you do me a favour?" Theo asked after a second of hesitation.  
He was suddenly wary. "That depends on what you want."  
"It's not much.”  
He waited, guarded but curious.  
"I just wondered… if you could warn me beforehand the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good. Just so I'm prepared."  
"That sounds fair." He was pressing his lips together to keep from laughing when Theo looked up.  
"Thanks."  
"Then can I have one answer in return?" he demanded.  
"One."  
"Tell me one theory."  
“Still not happening.”  
“You promised one answer,” Edward reminded him.  
"And you've broken promises yourself," Theo reminded him back.  
"Just one theory — I won't laugh."  
"Yes, you will." He was positive about that.  
"Please?" he breathed, leaning towards Theo and looked up through his long black lashes, his beautiful eyes burning into Theo’s.  
Theo loses all train of thought as he sinks into Edward, finding himself too leaning forward. He blinks as his mind goes blank. Holy fuck how did Edward have this affect on him?  
“Sorry?”  
"Please tell me just one little theory." His eyes still smouldered at him.  
"Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?" Was he a hypnotist, too? Or was he just a hopeless pushover?  
"That's not very creative," he scoffed.  
"I'm sorry, that's all I've got," Theo said, miffed.  
"You're not even close," he teased.  
"No spiders?"  
"Nope."  
"And no radioactivity?"  
"None."  
“I suppose that rules out kryptonite and you dressing up as a bat too.”  
Edward laughed. He actually leaned his head back and laughed out loud.  
"You're not supposed to laugh, remember?"  
He struggled to compose his face.  
"I'll figure it out eventually," Theo warned him.  
"I wish you wouldn't try." Edward was serious again.  
"Because?” Theo questions waving his hand about to gesture for Edward to continue.  
“Well that’s all superhero stuff right. Well what if I’m the bad guy,” he said with a playful smile but his eyes, just like this morning, held a deeper impenetrable warning. 

“Oh I get it know,” Theo says as things click into place  
"Do you?" His face was abruptly severe, as if he were afraid that he'd accidentally said too much.  
“You think you’re dangerous,” he guessed and was unable to stop his pulse quickening Edward was dangerous. He'd been trying to tell him that all along. “Maybe you are. But I don’t believe that you’re bad. ”  
"You're wrong." His voice was almost inaudible.  
Theo just stared at him, filled with anxiety and on edge and yet still so fascinated by the boy in front of him.  
The silence lasted until Theo noticed the almost empty cafeteria. “We’re going to be late,” he says jumping to his feet.  
“I’m not going to class today,” Edward said.  
“Why not?”  
"It's healthy to ditch class now and then." He smiled up at Theo, but his eyes were still troubled.  
Was he suggesting that Theo stay with him too? Just them two? Alone? No. He shook his head. Theo was not ready to be thinking about what he and Edward would do if they were alone.  
“I’m going,” Theo says.  
"I'll see you later, then."  
He hesitated, hating the feeling of leaving Edward as though he was being torn in two. The first bell sent him hurrying out the door with only one glance back to see that Edward hadn’t moved an inch.


	11. Biology meltdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey to whoever is reading this. 
> 
> I recruited the help of my boyfriend for this chapter to write the Edward parts (obviously not all the parts, he's not a vampire sadly) because when I have a meltdown I'm not always aware of what's going on. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

As he rushed alone to Biology, Theo couldn’t help but think about Edward’s advice about skipping class and how sinister it almost sounded.   
Luckily Mr Molina wasn’t in the room when he arrived. Theo quickly caught eyes with Bella as he slid onto his stool. She had questions; Theo could see that in her eyes but he didn’t have time for that now. Both Angela and Mike were also staring at him. Mike looked suspicious while Angela looked surprised and perhaps in awe.   
His desk felt empty and although he hated to admit it Theo missed Edward’s presence next to him, even the hostile presence. His head was still spinning with questions. Spending time with Edward seemed to only generate more questions instead of giving him answers. 

Mr. Molina came in the room then, calling the class to order. He was juggling a few small cardboard boxes in his arms. He put them down on Mike's table, telling him to start passing them around the class.  
"Okay, guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box," he said as he produced a pair of rubber gloves from the pocket of his lab jacket and pulled them on. "The first should be an indicator card," he went on, grabbing a white card with four squares marked on it and displaying it. "The second is a four-pronged applicator -" he held up something that looked like a nearly toothless hair pick "- and the third is a sterile micro-lancet." He held up a small piece of blue plastic and split it open. "I'll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don't start until I get to you." He began at Mike's table again, carefully putting one drop of water in each of the four squares. "Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet..." He grabbed Mike's hand and jabbed the spike into the tip of Mike's middle finger.   
The girl sitting next to Mike squalled as a small blob of blood flowed from Mike’s finger. Theo immediately tense, the high odd pitched sound sent an uncomfortable shock up his spine.   
"Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs." He demonstrated, squeezing Mike's finger till the blood flowed. "And then apply it to the card," he finished, holding up the dripping red card for us to see.   
"The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type." He sounded proud of himself. "Those of you who aren't eighteen yet will need a parent's permission - I have slips at my desk."

Theo tried to control his breathing as the classroom around erupted in giggles and shouts of glee as his classmates skewered their fingers. The florescent light above his head flickered on, off, on, off, on, off, on in an ominous fashion; throwing everything off balance in an already uneven room. It was much too bright when it was on and he wanted to dig the heel of his hand into his eyelids just to blind himself for a few moments.   
Practical experiments had always been his downfall in any of the sciences. It meant people moving around his all excited and in a frenzy. It meant a break in the usual classroom routine. He’d never liked getting involved in the practical side of things. Theo preferred the book stuff and scribbling down notes and just letting the teacher talk. And after a very overwhelming lunch time conversation with Edward he found it increasingly more difficult to calm down and fend off the meltdown.   
Theo couldn’t drown out the hissing and the laughing and the chattering of his loud classmates as they all gleefully pricked each other’s fingers and started testing their blood types. He, as subtly as possible, brought his hands up to cup his ears and block out as much noise as he could. Rocking backwards and forwards- mindful that he was sat on a stool- Theo twitched his fingers in different, calming patterns and began humming quietly. Too much was coming in and everything was too much.   
Stimming wasn’t working. He rocked a little faster, hummed louder with his hands twitching by his side more and more aggressively. Chatter had begun to sound like ear piercing screeching and the lights were brighter. The room seemed smaller, and it suddenly felt like there was not enough space for him to exist or escape. Everything was off balance. 

“Theo, are you all right?” Mr Molina asked. He was close to Theo, who hadn’t seen him approach and it startled him. Theo jerked up and off the stool; which made a God awful clattering noise as it bounced off the desk behind him and fell to the floor.   
“What’s the matter? Are you feeling ill?” His words dried up in his throat and he refused to make eye contact with Mr Molina.  
“Are you feeling faint?”   
Theo nods frantically because he does feel faint because of the lack of oxygen getting to his brain.   
“Can someone take Theo to the nurse please,” he called. Oh God no not the nurse. Going to the nurse would most certainly make things worse.  
Mike was the one that Mr Molina picked. Theo really wished it had been Bella. Although Mike had gotten over his displeasure toward Theo now that he’d going to the dance with Jessica and had returned to his puppy like demeanour he had when they first met.   
“Can you walk?” Mr Molina asked.  
Again Theo just nodded unable to muster up any words. He just needed to get out of here. He’d crawl if he had to.   
Theo flinched away when Mike tried to touch him; Mike had seemed quite eager to try and carry him. He simply slumped behind him Mike as they exited the class, bearing one short look to Bella who stared with wide concerned eyes. 

Once they had made it around the edge of the cafeteria, out of sight of building four and Mr Molina in case he was watching, Theo stopped.   
“I’m sitting here,” he tells Mike because he can’t be bothered to ask. Theo sinks down on the wall and takes in the feeling of the cold solid surface below him. He tries to block out Mike’s looming presence as he stands physically over Theo and watches. It’s quite unnerving. God Theo wished Bella was here with him.   
“Theo?” It was a different voice calling from the distance.

Oh God! Please. No. Let him be imagining that horribly familiar voice. 

“What’s wrong? Is he hurt?” His voice was closer now and he almost sounded upset. Maybe scared. But Theo couldn’t really make it out through the haze of a meltdown. He presses the heel of his palms tightly into his eyes until it hurts in hopes of making Edward go away. Or at least not have a full blown meltdown.   
“Theo?” Edward’s voice is right next to him. Theo can feel his presence even though he can’t see him. “Can you hear me?”  
Theo shakes his head, knowing how contradictory it is. “Go away.”  
Edward laughs. It actually makes Theo feel a little better knowing that he hasn’t reverted back and instead stayed nice Edward from this morning. He much preferred nice Edward.   
“I was supposed to be taking him to the nurse,” Mike explained in a defensive tone, “but he just sat down and wouldn’t go any further.” Silly territorial boy, Theo thought.  
“I’ll take him,” Edward said and Theo could hear the slight smirk in his voice. Was Edward finding this funny? Theo tried not to be hurt, rationalizing with himself that Edward didn’t know that he was going into meltdown and was probably just trying to piss Mike off. “You can go back to class,” Edward continues.  
“No” Mike protested. “I’m supposed to do it.”  
Suddenly the sidewalk disappeared from beneath Theo. His eyes flew open in shock. Edward had scooped him up into his arms as though he only weighed ten pounds.   
"Put me down!" Theo began fighting against Edward’s hold. “Please stop,” he cries, wincing at the tears in his voice. But Edward carried on walking. Please not here. Please, please, please don’t let him have a meltdown. Anywhere else other than here; especially now that he was right in Edward’s arms.   
“Hey,” Mike” called and he tried to catch them up.   
“You look awful,” Edward said and went Theo reopened his eyes he could see that Edward was grinning.   
“Put me down,” Theo tried again, fighting against Edward’s hold without much avail. Edward still continued to support his weight through his fighting without much bother.   
“You faint at the sight of blood?”  
“No. No. No,” Theo repeats continuing to fight. He could give a shit about the blood. Right now all he cared about was Edward’s arms touching him, pressing against him, suffocating him. How with every step Edward took the swaying motion was unsettling and quite painful. Also how much he really needed to stim.  
“No?” Edward echoed back.  
“No,” Theo repeated. He glanced around quickly. Thankfully Mike had taken the hint and had stopped following them; hopefully returning back to Biology. Now that he had Edward’s attention he needed to make him understand that he was in meltdown. “Too loud,” he said. He knew Edward wouldn’t understand what that meant but his brain couldn’t form anything longer, as though it had forgotten how to create sentences. “Put me down.”  
This time Edward complies placing Theo back onto his feet. Unprepared to suddenly be up right Theo sways. Of course Edward tries to steady him.  
Then it all happens so fast.

Theo flinches away before his mind has time to really focus on what’s going on, his body just knows that he has to get away from the intrusion. He slides down the wall, scraping the side of his hand down it like this morning only with more brutish force. Theo’s other hand quickly finds its way too his mouth and he clamps down on two of his fingers, biting harshly and registering no pain. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve,” Theo counted. Twelve was his safety number. He couldn’t explain why but it always calms him down when he counts to the number twelve.   
Edward smells the blood before he can really contemplate what’s happening before him. Theo is bleeding in front of him with his eyes shut and in an empty hallway. This would be the perfect conditions for Edward to kill him. Just bite his neck and drain the blood. There were no witness so he wouldn’t have to kill anyone else. No. He turns his back to Theo to check through Bella’s mind.

It’s difficult from far away because Bella’s mind is hazy but Edward can see the panic there. He hovers closer to the Biology labs as though he’s trying to get reception on his cell phone but doesn’t walk to far away from Theo. Bella is explaining to Mr Molina in a quick hurried voice. Theo is having a meltdown. The experiment was too loud, too sensory stimulating for him. The guilt washes over Edward. Drawing from his small amount of knowledge of autism, he knew that picking up Theo has only made things worse.   
He continues shifting through Bella’s thoughts to her recalling helpful things to calm a meltdown. Music. Blankets. Walks. Stim toys. Theo had show in his bag.   
Edward is thankful for his vampire speed and the fact that no one is around to see him use it. He searches through the contents of Theo’s backpack until he comes across a smaller bag. Opening that he discovers a plethora of things that he doesn’t understand. Colourful twisty objects and a cube with random commonplace things on. Uncertain of what is correct, Edward settles for some bendable silicon that looks as though it won’t hurt Theo if he chews on it.

Thirst burst through his throat as he leans toward Theo to give him the object, being so closed to Theo was still so hard even after spending lunch together. But he had to work through it. Edward turned to the side in order to breathe in some fresh air. The attempt was useless. Theo’s scent was all around him; so intoxicating and warm and thick like honey. Especially with the blood now at the surface and overflowing.   
No, he mustn’t think about that.   
Edward was unsure of how much Theo could hear him but he thought it best to narrate through the process so not to startle him. “I’m going to take your finger from out of your mouth,” he says and at the most human pace that he can muster swaps Theo’s finger for the chewable silicon. As though nothing has happened, Theo continues chewing much to Edward’s delight.   
He decides to lean against the wall, sitting six feet away from Theo to avoid temptation and wait it out.

Theo is unsure how long has past when he cracks his eyes open again. The outside light doesn’t burn so bright against his eyes. Good, he thinks, he’s coming out of meltdown. But what damage has he caused?  
He turns to the left to see that Edward is sitting against the wall, a good distance away and staring at him.   
“How are you feeling?” Edward’s voice is low and soft. Theo’s never heard him like that before. He looks once over Edward, spotting his bag of stim toys open in Edward’s lap and registering that his chewy was in clamped between his teeth.  
“Hey you went in my bag,” he said, trying to ignore how he lisped because of the chewy still being in his mouth. Oh, that sounded rude. Why couldn’t he just say thank you?  
“It was either that or let you chew your own finger off,” Edward joked with a smile. “You hurt your hands a little before I could stop you.”  
Theo looks down at his hands, his left had bite marks in it from where he’d chewed and the right was scraped and slightly bloody.  
“You were right,” Theo said, leaning back against the wall.   
"I usually am - but about what in particular this time?"  
"Ditching is healthy."   
“You scared me for a minute there,” Edward admitted. His tone made it sound like he was confessing a humiliating weakness.   
“Sorry,” Theo apologies. “They don’t happen much now but when they do it’s bad.”  
“It’s fine. Just wanted to make sure you’re ok.”  
“I’m much better now. "How did you see me? I thought you were ditching." Theo felt much better now, just the fog of meltdown aftermath which left his brain hurting.   
"I was in my car, listening to a CD." Such a normal response - it surprised him.   
They sit and stare at each other in silence. 

It is Bella who startles them apart.  
She comes barrelling down the sidewalk with a look of panic on her face and Mike trailing behind her. Upon seeing Mike, Theo rips the chewy from his mouth and Edward grants him the courtesy of hiding his stim toy bag beside him. Edward wonders how he didn’t hear them coming. Being next to Theo was messing with his head.   
“How are you doing?” Bella asked crouching down next to him.   
“I’m feeling much better.”  
“I was so worried. Especially when Mike came back without you” Bella shot Mike a somewhat dirty look and Edward had to hide in a laugh. At least he wasn’t the only who disliked the Newton boy.   
“It’s fine. Edward was here,” Theo tries to hide the blush in his words.   
“Thank you,” Bella tells him and Edward answers with a nod as though he’s embarrassed.   
“Do you want me to take you to the nurse?” She asked.  
“Defiantly not,” Theo declined. “I’m feeling fine now.   
“So are you coming back to class?” Mike asked.  
“Probably not. I’d just have to turn around and come back,” Theo said.   
“Yeah I guess...” Mike trailed off awkwardly. “Will you still be coming this weekend? To the beach?” As he spoke Mike shot a glance at Bella then another glare toward Edward.   
“I’m in,” Theo said trying to sound as friendly as possible. “And if I don’t go, Bella probably still will right?” He said trying to soften the blow.  
“Yeah I said I will go.”  
“We’re meeting at my dad’s store, at ten,” his eyes once again flickered toward Edward as though he was worried about how much information he was given out. It was hardly likely that Edward would follow them to a crappy beach.   
“Fill me in with the rest of the information,” Bella said standing up beside Mike.  
“I’ll see you in Gym then,” he said.   
“Gym,” Theo echoed back dishearten.  
“Do you want me to drive you home?” Bella offered.  
“I’ll do it.”  
Theo had almost forgotten that Edward was still sat beside him and his offer came as a shock.  
“I am capable of driving myself home.”  
“I don’t think you should drive. It’s not safe.”  
“I know how to drive Edward,” he snaps. Theo is too used to snapping at him.   
“And besides how will Bella get home if you take the truck?” Ugh. He did have a point.  
“Fine,” he accepted, admitting defeat. “But what about your next class?”  
“My teacher won’t mind.”  
“And I’ll tell the coach you’ve gone home sick,” Bella said smiling at the exchange between the two of them.   
“Fine. You can drive me home even though I am perfectly capable of doing so myself and this is completely unnecessary,” he says finishing in his jacket pocket for the keys to the truck to give to Bella.   
“Don’t whine,” Bella warns him as though he’s a child.  
“It’s unneeded though.”  
“Whatever,” she says as she hugs him goodbye, grants Edward a parting smile and walks away; practically dragging Mike with her. 

"Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you again?" He jokes once Bella and Mike have gone back inside.  
“I can walk thanks.” Theo stood up carefully. He felt fine. Maybe just a little embarrassed that he’d had a semi violent meltdown in front of Edward.   
Once they’d emerged from underneath the canopy Theo noticed it was raining. It wasn’t heavy, to a fine mist at the beginning of its fall. It felt nice- the first time that he’d ever enjoyed the rain. It cleared off the left over blush from his face as he cooled down.   
“You should come this Saturday.” Theo really hoped that Edward would accept his offer even though it seemed unlikely. He couldn’t imagine Edward squashed in a minivan full of kids from school, squashed most likely in between him and Jessica. No, Edward didn’t belong in the same world as he did. And yet he asked anyway because he bear the thought of being away from Edward for the weekend. The thought terrified him.  
"Where are you all going, exactly?" He was still looking ahead, expressionless.   
“La Push beach I think.” Theo studied his face, trying to work him out. His eyes seemed to narrow infinitesimally.   
“I don’t think I’m really invited,” he said smiling wryly.  
“I’m inviting you.”  
"Let's you and I not push poor Mike any further this week. We don't want him to snap." His eyes danced; he was enjoying the idea more than he should.   
“So?” he mutters, preoccupied by the way he'd said "you and I." He liked it more than he should.

They had made it to Edward’s car without him realising. Edward didn’t answer, only opened up the passenger side door for Theo to climb. “Thank you,” he said, slipping inside and away from the rain; it had started raining harder and his shoes had become squeaky.  
Edward climbed in, fiddling with the controls; turning the heater up and the music down. As he pulls out of the parking lot, Theo prepared to give Edward the silent treatment. He’d clearly upset Edward by inviting him to the beach but he tried his best not to pout at the idea of having to sit so close to Edward and not being able to talk to him. Again!  
But then he recognized the music playing and his curiosity got the better of his intentions.   
"Clair de Lune?" Theo asked, surprised.   
"You know Debussy?" He sounded surprised, too.   
"Not well," he admitted. "My mother plays a lot of classical music around the house - I only know my favourites."   
"It's one of my favourites, too." He stared out through the rain, lost in thought.   
He listened to the music, relaxing against the light grey leather seat. It was impossible not to respond to the familiar, soothing melody. The rain blurred everything outside the window into grey and green smudges. Theo began to realize we were driving very fast; the car moved so steadily, so evenly, though, I didn't feel the speed. Only the town flashing by gave it away.   
"What is your mother like?" Edward asked him suddenly.   
Theo glanced over to see that Edward was studying him with curious eyes.   
“She looks a lot like Bella; well I suppose Bella looks like her. She’s nothing like me,” Theo began. Edward raised his eyebrows. “I’m too much like Charlie. She’s more outgoing and lot braver. She’s irresponsible and unpredictable and wild and she’s my favourite person in the entire world.” Theo stopped abruptly. Talking about his mother was making him depressed. 

"How old are you, Theo?" His voice sounded frustrated for some reason that Theo couldn't imagine. He'd stopped the car, and he realized we were at Charlie's house already. The rain had grown so heavy that he couldn’t see the house; it was as though the car had been submerged into a river  
"I'm seventeen," he responded, a little confused.   
"You don't seem seventeen." His tone was reproachful; it made Theo laugh.   
"What?" he asked, curious again.   
"My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year." He laughed, and then paused for a second. "You don't seem much like a junior in high school yourself.   
He made a face and changed the subject.   
"So why did your mother marry Phil?" Theo was surprised that Edward had remembered the name seeing as though he’d only mentioned it once months ago.  
"My mother... she's very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. At any rate, she's crazy about him."   
"Do you approve?" he asked.  
“He makes her happy. I want her to be happy so it doesn’t really matter.”   
"That's very generous... I wonder," he mused.   
"What?"   
"Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?" He was suddenly intent, his eyes searching mine.   
“She doesn’t care about that stuff,” Theo sound. He wasn’t too sure if Edward was hinting toward accepting that he was gay or not. “Besides she’s the parent so it’s different.”  
"No one too scary then," he teased.   
“What do you mean by scary?” Theo grinned in response. 

Edward ignored his questioned in favour of asking Theo another. “Do you think that I could be scary?” He raised one eyebrow and the faint trace of a smile lightened his face.   
“Ooh yeah you’re very scary with your Debussy and you’re handsome smile,” Theo jokes. Whoops he hadn’t meant to say the last part.   
Edward laughed but his face become serious quickly. “On a more serious note do you think that I could be scary?”  
Theo properly thought for a moment, debating everything that Edward had said and done. “Hmmm... I recon you could be, if you wanted to.”  
"Are you frightened of me now?"   
"No." Theo answered slightly too quickly. The smile returned. 

“Now that you know all about my family,” Theo said dramatically, “are you going to tell me about yours. It’s got to be a much more interesting story than mine.   
“What do you want to know?” Edward asked cautiously.  
“The Cullens adopted you?” He verified.   
“Yes.”  
Theo hesitated for a moment. “What happened to your parents?”  
"They died many years ago." His tone was matter-of-fact.   
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.   
"I don't really remember them that clearly. Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now."   
"And you love them." It wasn't a question. It was obvious in the way he spoke of them.   
"Yes." He smiled. "I couldn't imagine two better people."   
"You're very lucky."   
"I know I am."   
"And your brother and sister?"   
He glanced at the clock on the dashboard.   
"My brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me."   
“Oh sorry, I’ve been holding you up.” He didn’t want to get out of the car, he didn’t want to leave Edward.   
“And I should probably get going before Chief Swan gets home, so you don’t have to tell him about what happened in biology,” he grinned at Theo  
"I'm sure he's already heard. There are no secrets in Forks." Theo sighed. 

“Before you leave,” Edward starts. “I need to fulfil on my promise.” Oh, Theo thought. Even after everything Edward was going to start ignoring him again, knowing exactly what promise Edward was talking about.   
“You’re going to stop speaking to me again?”  
“No, sorry I should have phrased that a little better,” he apologies. “Emmett and I are starting the weekend early.”  
“Oh so I won’t see you tomorrow?” Theo tried to hide his disappointment. "What are you going to do?" A friend could ask that, right?   
"We're going to be hiking in the Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainier."   
"Oh, well, have fun." Theo tried to sound enthusiastic although he didn’t think he fooled him, though. A smile was playing around the edges of his lips.   
"Will you do something for me this weekend?" He turned to look Theo straight in the face, utilizing the full power of his burning gold eyes.   
Theo nodded helplessly.  
"Don't be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So... try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?" He smiled crookedly.   
The helplessness had faded as he spoke. Theo glared at him.   
“I’ll see what I can do for you,” he snapped, jumping out of Edward’s car in a huff; directly into the rain. He slams the door behind him with excessive force  
Much to Theo’s annoyance, Edward was still smiling as he drove away.


	12. Rainy beach and scary stories.

Theo found it impossible to concentrate that night. He tried to concentrate on the third act of Macbeth for his English homework but it was pointless. And for once it wasn’t the raining pounding against the window that was preventing his concentration. Edward Cullen was all he could think about. He spent his time thinking about Edward and waiting anxiously for Bella to arrive home.

“So are you dating Edward Cullen now then?” It’s the first thing Bella asked when she enters Theo’s room. She hasn’t even bothered to strip of her raincoat and boots; she’s dripping all over Theo’s floor. “Oh and how are you feeling?” she follows up.  
“No I’m not dating Edward and I’d feel a lot better if you wouldn’t drip all over my floor,” he jokes to try and avoid the awkwardness of this conversation.  
“Sorry,” she says, tearing off her coat and boots; abandoning them at the door and joining Theo on his bed. “So if you’re not dating Edward Cullen, what’s going on between you two?”  
“Nothing much, we’ve decided to be friends.”  
“Friends?” Bella asked with her eyebrow quirked.  
“Yes just friends,” Theo say, jokingly pushing Bella. “We’re going to Seattle.”  
“He’s taking you to Seattle? On the day of the dance?”  
“Yeah. He said the truck might not make it.”  
“Theo, that’s a date,” Bella chuckled.  
“No it’s not,” he said blushing. “We’re just friends.”  
“I think Edward might want to be more than that.”  
“He doesn’t,” Theo said defensively.  
“Theo today alone he’s asked you out to Seattle, eaten with you at lunch and helped out with a meltdown. He seems to really care about you.”  
“Bella up until today Edward wanted nothing to do with me.”  
“It’ typical behaviour when you have a crush on somebody,” Bella teased.  
“Edward isn’t typical though,” Theo said.  
They look at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.

The same questioning followed the next day when he met up with Jessica.  
“So what did Edward Cullen want yesterday?” she asked in English.  
“He just wanted to talk. There was no real point to his conversation.”  
“You looked mad with him,” she fished.  
“Did I?” Theo tried to keep his expression blank. He didn’t really understand what had happened yesterday so there was no way that he could explain it to Jessica.  
“You know, I’ve never seen him sit with anyone but his family before. That was weird.”  
“Weird,” he agreed because Jessica seemed annoyed and he didn’t want to irritate her further. Plus he wanted this conversation to be over.  
“And Mike told me he drove you home and that’s why you weren’t in gym,” she pried, flipping her dark impatiently. She was digging for gossip, hoping that Theo would tell her something good had happened so she could pass it on.  
“I wasn’t feeling well,” he explained. “Edward offered to drive me home so Bella would still have the truck.”  
“Did he come into your house?”  
“No Jess, he had to pick up his siblings.”  
The worst part about Friday was, even though Theo knew he wouldn’t see him that day he still hoped that he would be there. He found himself looking for Edward in the halls in between classes and was obviously disappointed.

When he walked into the cafeteria he couldn’t keep his eyes away from the usual Cullen table. Only Rosalie, Alice and Jasper were sat there, heads close together as they talked. He even spared a glance at the table that he and Edward sat at yesterday; which was futile. And he couldn’t stop the gloom that engulfed him as he realized that it would be Monday before he would get to see Edward again.  
At his usual table, everyone was full of plans for the next day. Mike was animated again, putting a great deal of trust in the local weatherman who has promised sun tomorrow even though the rain from yesterday had continued to beat down. Theo didn’t have much hope for improving it tomorrow.  
For some odd reason, he intercepted a few unfriendly glances from Lauren during lunch. He didn’t understand what they were about until they were all walking out of the lunch room together. Theo was right behind her, talking quietly to Angela, and she was evidently unaware of that.  
“I don’t know why Theo”- she sneered his name- “doesn’t just sit with the Cullens from now on.” She muttered to Jessica in an unpleasant nasally voice.  
Jessica quickly came to his defence, which he was grateful for. “He’s my friend, he sits with us,” she hissed back loyally. Theo really didn’t want to know why Lauren had a dislike for him but he didn’t want to hear any more.

At dinner that night Charlie seemed enthusiastic about their trip to La Push tomorrow. Theo supposed that he felt guilty about leaving him and Bella at home all weekend while he went out fishing. Not that they minded much. Charlie had built a habit over the years of living alone and they were completely fine leaving that the way it was. Of course he knew the names of all the kids that are going, and their parents and probably their great-grandparents too. He approved, which was good. Although Theo couldn’t think of having to argue about anything with Charlie; he was so laid back. But it did make him wonder if he would approve of his plan to ride to Seattle with Edward Cullen. Not that Theo was going to tell him.

Theo had meant to sleep in; knowing that he’d need all the sleep he could get for the day ahead but the wind beating against the window woke him up. Seemingly the warm weather promised wasn’t coming. The usual, casual rain was trickling down. Not as fast as it had been the previous day but the sky held no promise of it getting any brighter. Yet another sunless day in Forks.  
“Do we really have to go?” Theo asked once as Bella shuffled into the kitchen; she too had woken up too early for the day ahead.  
“Commitments were made. Even if we were promised sunshine,” she grumbled.  
“Fine. But there’s no way I’m going in the sea.”  
“Agreed.”

The Newtons' Olympic Outfitters store was just north of town. Theo had seen the store but had never had any need to go in since their supplies were all outdoor equipment. In the parking lot he recognized Mike's Suburban and Tyler's Sentra. As Bella pulled up next to their vehicles, he could see the group standing around in front of the Suburban. Eric was there, along with two other boys Theo had class with and he was fairly sure their names were Ben and Conner. Jess was there, flanked by Angela and Lauren. Three other girls stood with them and one of them gave him a dirty look as he got out of the truck and whispered something to Lauren.  
So it was going to be one of those days.  
At least Jess was happy to see him. And he didn’t have to worry about Mike because he was preoccupied with Bella  
“You came!” she called utterly delighted.  
“I said I would come,” he said, pulling his hood tighter around his head.  
"We're just waiting for Lee and Samantha... unless you invited someone," Jess added.  
“Nope,” he lied. He hoped he wouldn’t get caught in a lie but at the same time wished that Edward would just appear.  
Jess looked satisfied.  
"Will you ride in Mike’s car with me? It's that or Lee's mom's minivan."  
"Sure."  
She smiled blissfully. It was so easy to make Jessica happy.  
“You can sit in the back with me,” she promised. Theo tried to hide his chagrin. It would be difficult to make both Jessica and Mike happy. If he declined to sit with her then she’d be mad but at the same time sitting with her would annoy Mike; even if he was now busy talking to Bella.  
But the numbers worked out in his favour, though. Lee brought two extra people, and suddenly every seat was necessary. He managed to get a seat in the front of Mike’s Suburban with Jessica seated between him and Mike; so everyone seemed happy.  
It was only fifteen miles to La Push from Forks, with gorgeous, dense green forests edging the road most of the way and the wide Quileute River snaking beneath it twice. Theo was glad to have the window seat. Even amongst all the rain he was mesmerized by the beautiful sights that he past. Maybe it was even worth coming after all.  
He’d been to the beaches around La Push many times during his Forks summers with Charlie, so the mile-long crescent of First Beach was familiar to him. It was still breath-taking. The water was dark grey, even in the sunlight, white-capped and heaving to the grey, rocky shore. Islands rose out of the steel harbour waters with sheer cliff sides, reaching to uneven summits, and crowned with austere, soaring firs. The beach had only a thin border of actual sand at the water's edge, after which it grew into millions of large, smooth stones that looked uniformly grey from a distance, but close up were every shade a stone could be: terra-cotta, sea green, lavender, blue grey, dull gold. The tide line was strewn with huge driftwood trees, bleached bone white in the salt waves, some piled together against the edge of the forest fringe, some lying solitary, just out of reach of the waves.

The rain had come to a halt now they were at the beach but the wind had picked up increasingly so; whipping at their coats as they got out of the cars. Above the sky was still gloomy and held the commitment to rain again very soon. Theo pulled his coat tightly too his body as he followed down to the beach; sticking close to Angela who he kept swapping small smiles with.   
Mike lead the way to a ring of driftwood logs that had obviously been used for parties like their before as there was already a fire circle in the middle filled with black ashes. Theo pulled his coat down as far as it would go to prevent his jeans from getting wet before taking a seat on one of the logs. Angela sat next to him, folding her large scarf into a square and put it on the log before she did so.  
“Have you ever seen a driftwood fire?” she asked.  
“No,” he answered as he watched Eric and another boy named Ben gather broken driftwood branches and form them into a tepee shape.   
“You’ll like it,” Angela said as Mike produced a cigarette lighter and set fire to one of the smaller sticks. “Watch for the colours.”  
Theo watched as Mike placed the blazing twig onto the tepee. The flames started to lick quickly up against the dry wood.   
“It’s blue,” Theo said in surprise.   
“The salt does it. Pretty isn’t it?” Angela said as they watched the strange blue and green flames crackled towards the sky.   
It was relaxing to sit with Angela; she was restful kind of person to be around because she didn’t try to fill every silence with chatter. She left him to sit and think and watch the colours swirl about against the dark clouds. 

After about half an hour of chatter people began discussing going surfing like they had originally planned. It was no dilemma for Theo. There was no way that he was going surfing. He didn’t do that back in Phoenix when the weather was warm so there was no way that he was getting into the ice cold sea on a rainy day like today. He just hoped that no one would ask him.   
“I don’t know if it’s worth is anymore,” Eric said.  
“We’ve drove all the way out here,” Jessica said as she tightened her wet suit up that she had been wearing under her clothes. “I’m at least paddling out.”  
“Yeah,” Mike agreed.  
“Are you coming down the watch Theo?” Jessica asked.   
Theo had once again found himself stuck in a trap that was Jessica. Still too cautious to upset her but wanting nothing to do with surfing, Theo racked his brain for an easy way to tell her no without hurting her feelings.   
“Actually Jess he’s coming on the hike, right Theo?” Oh thank God for Angela.  
“Yeah sorry Jess I said I’d go on the hike,” Theo tried to lie as smoothly as possible about a hike that he knew nothing about.  
“That’s a shame,” she said before picking up her surf board and following Mike, Eric and a few others down towards the ocean. 

Once Jess was out of hearing range, Angela said “You don’t really have to come on the hike.”  
“No I will. It sounds fun.” And for once Theo wasn’t lying. Although he despised most forms of exercise he’d always quite liked walking. Plus the tide pools were something that had fascinated him since he was a child; they were one of the only things he’d looked forward to since moving to Forks. Although Edward’s request not to fall into the ocean did play through his mind. 

The hike wasn’t too long which Theo liked as he shared disappearing glances at the sky. It appeared as though it might rain at any moment and even though he was dressed in a waterproof coat and boots the walk back to the cars would be hell in the rain. The green light of the forest was strangely at odds with the adolescent laughter, too murky and ominous to be in harmony with the light banter around him. Carefully he watched every step he took, avoiding roots below and branches above. If it wasn’t for Angela who had purposefully fallen into step with him he would have fallen behind. The others were fearless, leaping over the rocks, perching precariously on the edges, even Bella tried to join in which Theo knew was going to end badly. He took refugee with Angela on a stable looking rock on the fringe of one of the largest pools and studied the pool below.

“I keep thinking about asking Ben to the dance but then I just don’t,” Angela said, lowering her camera into her lap.  
“You should just ask him. Take control. You’re a strong confident woman,” Theo told her.  
“You think so?” she asked blushing madly.  
“I’m not very good with these things,” he admits, “but I recon you should just ask him. He’d been really stupid to say no.”  
“Thanks Theo. Are you sure that you can’t come?”  
“I don’t do well at dances,” he admits. “And I’m going to Seattle with Edward.” Theo doesn’t know why he confines in Angela like that; it feels as though he’s almost betraying Edward’s trust by telling her.  
“So are you and Edward dating?”  
“Urm no we’re just friends,” Theo said, blushing the same colour as Angela.  
“Sorry I shouldn’t have assumed that you were...” Angela trails off, looking at the ground.  
“Gay? I am but not a lot of people know.”  
They lapse back into silence until everyone else decided they were hungry enough to head back for food. Theo tried to keep up better this time, not wanting to keep Angela from lunch so inevitably he fell a few times. It was nothing more than some shallow scrapes to his palms and getting his jeans damps from the rocks but he did blush a blazing crimson when Angela had to help him up again. 

When we got back to First Beach, the group they'd left behind had multiplied. As they got closer Theo could see the shining, straight black hair and copper skin of the newcomers, teenagers from the reservation come to socialize.  
Despite his best efforts, he and Angela were still the last to arrive. Those who had been surfing were now seated back around the fire, talking to the newcomers and passing around the food.   
“Jacob?” Theo questioned as he recognised the younger boy sitting beside Eric, near the fire.   
“Theo,” Jacob said, flashing him a bright white smile and ran over to join him and Angela.   
“Are you stalking me now,” Theo joked.   
“Hey you’re on my rez remember. Have you two been surfing?” He asked as Bella joined us.  
“Definitely not,” Bella said. It was the first time that Theo had looked at her since the hike. She was in a much worse state than he was, jeans torn at the knees with the scraps and possible bruises and her hair swept into a curly mess.   
“Urm Jake,” a voice behind them said.   
Theo turned around to see a boy much similar Jake in looks, beautiful tanned skin and perfect while teeth. The only difference was his black hair was chopped short and spiked atop of his head.   
“Sorry,” Jacob apologised. “This is my cousin Isaac.  
“Hello,” he and Bella say in unison.  
“Do you live on the reservation too?” Bella asked.  
“Only for this last year. My family moved down here.”  
“Bella and Theo are new to Forks too,” Jacob explained.  
“Is it boring you to death yet?” Isaac joked.  
“Nearly,” Bella laughed. No she didn’t laugh she giggled, all high pitched and weird. Bella never giggled and it threw Theo off guard a little bit. He gave her a weird look.   
“You know Theo, Jacob?” Lauren asked in an insolent tone from the other side of the camp fire; breaking up there small conversation.   
“Yeah we’re kind of known each other since I was born,” he jokes with a half smile.   
“How nice,” she said, her eyes narrowing. “You can keep him company since his date bailed.”  
“Date?” Jessica piped up from her place beside Mike.  
“Yeah he invited Edward,” she almost sneered.   
“To be polite. He was there when Mike asked,” Theo defends slightly.   
“I think it’s nice that Theo invited him. Nobody ever does,” Angela adds.  
“It’s because Cullen’s a freak,” Mike laughed.   
“You got that right,” one of the reservation boys said.  
“You know them?” Theo asked.   
“The Cullens don’t come here,” he said in a tone that closed the subject, ignoring his question.

Theo slumped down onto a log around the campfire. He could feel how much he was blushing just at the mention of Edward Cullen. He didn’t like it. Theo stared at the deep voiced boy, still taken aback by the statement about the Cullens. It was ambiguous, his tone impairing something more than the Cullens just avoiding the beach; it was almost as though they weren’t allowed. Prohibited maybe. Theo couldn’t get it out of his mind, his manner leaving a strange impression on him.   
Jacob interrupted his train of thought. “So are you liking Forks?”  
“It’s alright here.” It was lie but Theo couldn’t get into the fact he still hated this place after months of being here. But Jacob grinned understandingly.   
“Urm would you like to go for a walk?” Theo asked him. He still couldn’t stop turning the comment on the Cullens over and over in his head. He didn’t answers and figured that Jacob might have some.  
“Sure,” Jacob said, willingly jumping up.   
As they walked north across the multihued stones toward the driftwood seawall, the clouds finally opened up and rain started to fall in a drizzle. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets of his raincoat.   
Once they were a little further away from the group Theo asked, “What did your friend mean about the Cullens not coming here?”  
“You caught that huh?”  
“Well he was the alone person speaking in a relatively small group of people,” Theo points out which causes Jacob to laugh.  
“Yeah I suppose.” Jacob moved closer and lowered his voice in mocked secrecy, “ I’m not supposed to say anything.”  
“I can keep a secret.”   
“It’s just a scary story really. Did you know the Quileutes are supposedly descended from wolves?”  
“Wolves? Like actual fanged, fur wolves?”  
“Well erm... that’s the legend of our tribe.”  
“Ok so what’s the story about the Cullens?”  
“Well they’re supposedly descended from this like enemy clan. My great grandfather, the chief found them hunting on our lands. But they claimed to be something different so we made a treaty with them. If they promised to stay off our land then we wouldn’t expose what they really were... to the pale faces.”  
“I thought they just moved here?”  
“Or just moved back?”  
“What are they really?”  
“It’s just a story Theo.”  
They had rounded back on themselves without Theo even knowing; he was so caught up in the story, and were now walking back towards the group. It was raining harder now, something else that Theo had missed until he realised his hair was soaking. He pulled his hood up but knew it was pointless.   
“There you are Theo,” Jessica said, almost relieved. “Where have you been?”  
“Jacob was just telling me some local stories,” he said. “They were really interesting.”  
“Well we’re packing up now. The rain’s getting too bad to ignore.”  
Thank God. Now that he realised it, Theo didn’t want to spend any more time in than rain than strictly necessary.  
“Ok I’m coming.”  
“It was nice to see you again,” Jacob called.  
“It was. Next time Charlie comes down to see Billy I’ll come too.”  
“That would be cool.”  
“Oh and thanks for the story.”  
Theo pulled his hood around his head as tightly as possible as he re-joined the group as they trampled across the rocks towards the parking lot.   
“Good walk?” Bella asked, matching her pace to his.  
“It would have been better without the rain,” he told her. He could feel his hair drying and sticking to the hood of his coat.   
When they got to the Suburban, Theo announced that he’d already taken his turn in the shotgun position before crawling into the back between Angela and Bella. Angela just stared out the window at the escalating storm, and Tyler twisted around in the middle seat to occupy Bella's attention, so Theo could simply lay his head back on the seat and close his eyes and try very hard not to think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologies that it's taken me so long to write this chapter. I've been super busy recently and this chapter is one of my least favourites so it's been difficult to write. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.


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